Lessons From Argentine Reaction to World Cup Loss

Argentina Riots

VIDEO: Riots erupted in Argentina after World Cup loss.

High hopes and expectations gave way to defeat, shock, dejection and finally to pain, anger and destruction.

This was the 120-minute journey taken by Argentina’s national football team’s supporters who had gathered at a public square viewing area in Buenos Aires, to watch the final 2014 FIFA World Cup match between Argentina and Germany. Chaos erupted after Argentina lost to Germany.

Who publicly vents their frustration through riotous acts of violence and hooliganism because of a loss?

Success Today

Before we rush to condemn the fans’ behavior, it’s important to consider what may have led them to do what they did. In today’s world, success is highly overrated. We celebrate those who come first, conquer (however we define that), make it big, win awards and medals, achieve in one way or other. It’s all about positive feelings, positive emotions and positive labels.

On the other hand, we look down upon those who have suffered defeat, loss and humiliation. For them, it’s negative, negative, negative – feelings, emotions and labels. They’re not good enough, they’ve failed, lost, let themselves and us down.

So it’s shame, shame, shame!

Acting Out

And so for Argentina’s fans, theirs was not just a case of lawlessness. They were simply projecting on the outside what they were going through on the inside – their pain and disappointment. But, one may – nay, SHOULD – ask whether the fans could have displayed their feelings of loss differently.

After all, with no exception, we go through loss and defeat at different times in our lives.

  • Does that give us the license to take to the streets every time we lose and generally make other people’s lives miserable in the process? Especially when the loss is so intense, it’s palpable.
  • Or, do we have a choice as to how to respond to loss?

To quote a popular saying, we need to win with humility and lose with grace. But, what does it mean to lose with grace? In this post, I share a 3-step process that one can follow.

3-Steps to Winning With Humility and Losing With Grace

1) Accept That You Have Lost

Once you’ve lost, you’ve lost. You can’t wish the loss away. And you can’t turn back the clock, to translate the loss into a win. So, admit that you’ve lost. Allow yourself to come to terms with your loss and grieve if you must.

Argentina’s loss to Germany was boldly summed up by Joao Cuenca, who has an Argentine father and a Brazilian mother:

“This was a trauma. We were going to be able to leave singing songs in victory with the glory of the Cup. What happened is nothing short of a disaster.”

Ouch! The good news is that facing your loss and pain head on makes it much easier for the healing process to begin.

2) Learn All You Can

At one time or other, you will lose. It’s just a matter of time. And each loss has a lesson embedded in it.

  • Ask yourself what you can take away from the experience and make it work for you.
  • Don’t waste your loss.
  • The good news is that losing does not make you a loser.
  • It’s an experience, not a state.
  • So, make it your aim to learn all you can from any and every loss.
  • Drawing lessons can help you emerge a stronger, better person.
  • Apply those lessons to future pursuits, to improve your chances of succeeding then.

Internationally recognized leadership expert, speaker, coach and author, John Maxwell says in his book Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn, that winning isn’t everything, but learning is. Don’t waste your experiences whether it’s a win or a loss. Learn from both.

3) Move On

Easier said than done, but you must. Don’t camp where you lost the game – for if you do, you’ll waste the chance to get ready for your next big opportunity. Guard against what Abraham Graham Bell, the late Scottish scientist, inventor, engineer and innovator warned about:

“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

You have to make the decision to keep moving through other open doors. You never know – your next win may be far greater than your last loss. As long as you’re alive, keep moving.

Leading Through Loss

Indeed, better days lie ahead if you accept your past losses, learn from them and move on to seize future opportunities. This lesson applies in sports, family, business, community and in life.

How do you currently deal with loss in your life? Does it make the situation better or worse? How could you respond to losses more effectively?

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Joyce Kaduki

Mrs. Joyce Kaduki is a Leadership Coach, Speaker & Trainer
She enjoys working with Individuals & Teams to help them Improve their Results
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On Leadership, Growth and Doing it Anyway

Do It Anyway

Do you know that song by Martina McBride titled “Anyway?”  

In the very first verse of the song she says this:

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin’
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway”

On Life and Making Lemonade

My husband graduated from college and spent 6 years in the Air Force.  Then we settled down in my home town to raise our family and he went to work as an engineer for a large company.  We raised 3 boys.

I began a business. We invested and began preparing for the day that we could retire. We seemed to be on the right track as a couple and a family.

But despite our best laid plans, life brought us some lemons. Our lives changed in directions for which we had not planned:

  • We did not expect that my husband would lose his job after 15 yrs
  • I did not anticipate that my business would begin to lose money
  • We did not know that our son would cost us everything that we had worked for (at least as far as the things of the world are concerned.)

Lemons, Lemons, and More Lemons

Our youngest son became involved in drug and alcohol abuse.  He spent 4 years going to jail, hospitals, and rehab. There were about 3 years that I did not sleep through the night in anticipation of a phone call from the police. I was never sure if they would want us to pick him up or identify his body.

To say the least, these were very difficult years for our family!

The courts held us financially responsible for the crimes that our son committed while he was a minor child.

  • We paid fees, restitution and hospital bills
  • We paid for couple of rehabilitation periods
  • We suffered emotionally, mentally, and career-wise

Because of the time away from work for court and family rehab sessions, my husband’s work performance decreased. When it came time for layoffs at his workplace, he was on the list.  When he lost his job, we lost our ability to pay for our home. My business began to fail and our property investments no longer rented for enough to pay the mortgage.

…More Lemons

As a result, we lost 2 properties, our home, and my business. We continued to fight to save our son. My husband finally found a job in a different state and he relocated. I had to remain where I was to close my business, sell the properties, and be with my son who was not finished with school.

On Making That Lemonade

Over time, my son finally completed his GED and got a good job. It took all the worldly possessions that we had, but our son is alive, healthy, drug free, and working.

After 18 months I was able to join my husband in our new home. I had to start over. He had to start over. I won’t lie, it was the most difficult time of our marriage. We became stronger than ever as a couple by pulling together for the sake of our family.

Although we were financially ruined, I can say with all the confidence in the world this:

Losing your fortune is not that big a deal. After all, it is just money. You can get more of that.

There is no battle more worth fighting that the battle to save a child. There is no amount of money that could change my opinion on the financial, emotional, and family decisions that we made. In fact, I would do it all over again for what we gained.

Keep Trying. It’s Worth It All

Now it is time to start building again.

Did I hesitate to start over? 

Absolutely.

Did I fear the idea of losing again?

You better believe it.

Is it going to be painful and difficult?

You better believe that, too!

Did it stop me?

NO!

There is nothing more painful than the thought of losing a child. Losing “stuff,” well that was easy by comparison. Your true success lies in what you put your hope in.

So, what sort of life-altering challenges have you faced that you were able to overcome? How did that build your character, your family, your relationships, or your business? Are you facing something now and need encouragement? If so, please connect with me and I think I can offer some sound personal advice. I would love to help.

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———————–
Phyllis Rodriguez

Phyllis Rodriguez is a Producer at Insphere Insurance Solutions
She serves as an Associate Broker, Short Sale and REO Specialist
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5 Ways To Be An Exceptional Leader

5 Ways To Be An Exceptional Leader #Infographic

On Leadership, Persistence and The Strong-Willed Leader

My Way

When I was a kid, I was known to be a little hard-headed at times. I must have driven my parents crazy with all the times that I refused to do what they asked me to do.

I wanted to do things my way.

What Goes Around…

I can see that God has a great sense of humor now that we’ve had our daughter, Ava, because she definitely inherited the hard-headed gene. I say that I see a sense of humor because if I don’t laugh, I’d be crying!

In educational circles, we would call Ava a “strong-willed child.” As parents, we call it “you make me want to scream, now get into timeout!

You have just  got to love those hard-headed kids that insist on getting things their way, don’t you? We joke with Ava that she’s going to be a lawyer because she negotiates every last request that we make of her.

  • We ask her to eat all her dinner before she can get dessert and she will try to negotiate it down to taking just a few more bites.
  • She even tries to negotiate the amount of time that she spends in timeout when we discipline her.

It took her a while to learn that we might negotiate dinner portions, but we will not negotiate timeout. We haven’t budged on that front once, but she keeps on trying. She just won’t take “no” for an answer.

Just Saying No

I have realized over time that many of the successes that I’ve had in my life were because of my hard-headedness. The same is true for all leaders. Sometimes “no” comes out as someone saying, “it can’t be done” or “no one has ever done that before.

However you phrase it, it still means “no.” I have learned that “no” is just temporary. Persistence pays if you want something badly enough.

Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ~ Winston Churchill

What’s the Big Idea?

All success starts with an idea and a desire to make it happen. This idea becomes fixed in our mind as something that we’re going to achieve. We’re not talking about the fleeing ideas that we allow to pass.

We have to grab hold of the one that we can become convicted about. Grab hold of it and don’t let it go until it’s achieved. All great success stories start off this way.

Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” ~ Napoleon Hill 

Determination to Succeed

True determination comes from knowing, not just wishing, that your idea will succeed. It has to be so fixed in your mind that you are determined to make it come to life.

Any setback that you may feel is a minor one in the scheme of things. Having determination means that you are willing to make sacrifices in order to succeed. Do you really want this thing that you’re striving for?

Persistence Is Key

Persistence and determination run hand-in-hand with one another. Nothing worthwhile ever comes right away. Those that are willing to persist through the adversity that life throws their way are the ones that succeed. Times will be tough.

It seems like life will do what it can to test you. Life will throw you a few setbacks just to be sure. How do you persist through the tough times?

Keep Good People Around You

The people around you can help lift you up when you’re feeling down. The pressures of success can wear on leaders from time to time and encouragement from the people around them are special cogs in their success engine.

I have been blessed enough to have family and friends who believed in me attaining my dreams that failure wasn’t an option in their eyes. They know without any shadow of a doubt that I can be successful in what I do. Who are you spending time with that will lift you up?

This post was adapted from Rich Bishop’s book, “Child-Like Leadership.”

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———————–
Rich Bishop

Rich Bishop is President of Bishop Coaching & Consulting Group
He takes a hands-on approach to your Development through Coaching & Training
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Leaders: Do You Want Compliance or Engagement?

Compliance or Engagement?

To achieve the highest levels of success within an industry today, organizations should be focused on creating training programs that develop better leaders, not better managers.

Management vs. Leadership

Often times the terms leadership and management are used interchangeably yet these two words could not be more opposite in the outcomes they produce within an organization.

Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines the verb lead asto guide on a way especially by going in advance,” while it defines manage as, “to make and keep compliant.”

Unlike managing, which requires a title to influence compliance, leading simply requires that an individual demonstrate a set of behaviors that inspires others to want to follow. In contrast managing can gain compliance whether or not the individual wants to do what is requested.

For an organization to meet its full potential in today’s environment, focusing on developing leadership behaviors, not management behaviors, may hold the key to that realization.

Effective Leadership Preparation

There is substantial research that demonstrates the positive impact leadership behaviors have on an organization’s culture and bottom line. Research from one consulting group suggested this:

When facing changes in the business environment, 86% of companies with strategic leadership development programmes are able to respond rapidly compared with just 52% of companies with less mature leadership programmes.”

Highly developed leaders often show behaviors that engage and motivate those around them to want to say “yes” to what is being asked of them. This request might involve physical action or to support a vision or a direction that the leader would like their employees to embrace.

Leadership Lesson Learned

Management vs. LeadershipI once worked with an executive who unknowingly illustrated the difference between leading and managing with his own staff.

He was a hard-driving individual, who was often critical of the work of those that reported to him regardless of the high quality.

As well, he was not effective at setting clear and consistent guidelines for his team, rarely recognized his people for their effort, and was often incongruent between his own behaviors and what he expected of his staff.

His rationale for his behavior was that if he provided praise or too much direction, it would make his people “weak.” When questioned on developing behaviors that might engage his people, he responded by saying he got the results he needed with his current behavior so why change.

Getting Even Better Results

I could not disagree that he got results with his current behavior because his team performed well. What I did know from my many sessions with his direct reports was that he was not getting the best results he could from his group because of his behaviors.

While they complied with every request he made, they did not feel engaged or motivated to advocate for change in areas they felt the company would benefit.

By definition, this executive was very skilled at “managing” his people, which was evident in their high level of compliance. Although the executive’s employees delivered results, a lack of leadership behaviors stifled the team from delivering the best results.

Focusing On What Matters

Over the next two years, several of his employees left the organization causing a huge talent vacuum as well as a morale issue. Rather than focusing on behaviors that created compliance, this executive should have focused on behaviors in which his employees felt engaged, empowered and motivated to give more.

Had this executive demonstrated behaviors that exhibited more respect for his employees’ ideas, encouraged them to take risks, as well as praised them for their contributions, he would have experienced a far greater return on his investment than gaining compliance provided.

Compliance or Engagement, Not Both

In today’s hyper-competitive business climate, the behaviors of those in positions of authority will often create either compliance or engagement, but not both.

Rather than focusing on developing management behaviors, which gain compliance, organizations would be best suited to focus on the development of leadership behaviors that create an engaged, empowered and motivated work environment.

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Patrick Veroneau, MS Organizational Leadership

Patrick Veroneau, MS is CEO of Emery Leadership Group
He inspires Others to Develop Effective Leadership Behaviors
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Creating Organisations Fit for Generation Y

If you are already a leader, you are most likely not from Generation Y (Millennials.) You are more likely to be a “Baby Boomer” or from “Generation X.” With this, as we grow older, we begin to notice our way of doing things is not to the same as our children.

We begin to ask ourselves questions like:

Why aren’t they behaving as we want them to? How will our organisations survive with behavior patterns like this? How do we change them?

 Us & Them Thinking

“Two roads diverged in a wood – I took the one less Tweeted about.”

It’s easy to think about “us” and “them” with the problem-side-of-the-equation usually emanating from “them.” Even when we try to empathise with Millennials (the “them,”) we think from the context of our own early lives.

We hear, “I remember being a teenager and I didn’t act like that. So why do you?

The point we miss in this type of reaction is that we are all physically and mentally molded by our complex changing experiences.

Our Brains are Plastic

“The send button is mightier than the sword.”

Billions of synapses form and break in our brains every second in response to sensory inputs and feedback from thoughts and emotions. If the intensity and quality of those inputs changes our brains adapt to meet these new demands.

Now think about the effects over the last fifty years of television, computer games and the internet. As we get older our brains become less plastic with differences between older and younger people becoming more obvious and extreme.

In the transmission of human culture, people always attempt to replicate, to pass on to the next generation the skills and values of the parents, but the attempt always fails because cultural transmission is geared to learning, not DNA.” ~ Gregory Bateson

How are Millennials Different?

“Keep your friends closer but your profile even closer.”

Millennials think differently. They have different value systems and are uncomfortable in hierarchical structures. Joan Snyder Kuhl discusses how leaders can invest in Milennials for the future of their organization.

“If your company can transform the way it operates to match the way these new workers think, live, and work, you will reap the rewards.” ~ Brian Halligan

Plastic Adaptive Organisations 

No matter how charismatic, leaders are powerless to counteract decades of social conditioning. It’s more sensible and productive long-term, to flex organisational cultures to accommodate Millennials and capitalise on their energy.

Perpetuating current structures and practices places Millennials in psychological conflict resulting in stress, loss of quality and poor productivity.

The way people work best continues to change and leaders and organisations who can’t or won’t adapt will fail to attract and keep talented young people.

Supporting the Millennial Mission

As years go by each generation faces the challenge of integrating younger people. The two different generational cultures want to work together but the balance of power is unequal. The “older establishment” has power and perpetuates current ideology whilst the Millennials have little power but have huge energy and a strong desire for meaning.

How do Millennials differ from earlier generations? Money, promotion, and retirement plans are modest millennial drivers. They are driven more by meaningful missions like transforming society and replacing unsustainable industries. Many feel want to save the planet, feed the starving, cure HIV or eradicate inequality; it’s a bonus if they make a healthy income along the way.

They love to learn, wish to be treated as adults seek solutions and move rapidly from job to job. Their attention span may be short but they can have great focus. Consider the concentration required to play computer games for four hours!

“Oldies” are the “change management” generation; reacting to change. Millennials live in constant and accelerating change and are better equipped and more comfortable with the concept of intentional re-invention.

Flexing Organisational Culture

Many Millenials, have a natural entrepreneurial tendency  and adaptive leaders harness their enthusiasm. Adaptive leaders re-frame organisational purpose and vision. Consider an organisation which is dedicated to encouraging its staff to focus more effectively and more rewardingly.

Organisations which capitalise on the way Millennials think, live, and work rather than impeding them with old outdated systems and structures, will reap the rewards of the millennial “bonus”.

“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible — and achieve it, generation after generation.” ~ Pearl S Buck

When Millennial Take Charge

In time Millenials will take over the reins and develop leadership styles of their own. In their review, Adapting leadership theory and practice for the networked millennial generation, Janis Bragan Balda and Fernando Mora conclude this:

It is possible that they (“Millenials”) conceive of their role not as other directed (as traditional servant leadership theory would envision leadership), however, but as service and action oriented for the benefit of others as well as for themselves.”

Boomers” along with “Generation X” leaders are 100% responsible the world in which our children and grandchildren grew and hence for the ways their brains and behaviours developed. I apportion no guilt or judgement in this assertion but just as the rate of cultural change increases so will the rate at which existing leaders need step aside for the new breed.

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.”  ~ Dr Haim Ginott

 Think On These 

Things you might consider today

  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how aware are you of the needs and strengths of Millennials?
  • Take a minute to talk to young people in your organisation. Ask them why they came to work here and the ways they like to work (make sure they know you are just trying to learn from them!)?
  • How well does your organisation align with their needs and harness their strengths effectively for mutual benefit and achievement?
  • What might you do to continue the conversation and evolve your culture?

Recommended reading:

Generation We: How Millennial Youth are Taking Over America and Changing the World - Eric H. Greenberg & Karl Weber

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——————–
 Gary Coulton

Dr Gary R Coulton is CEO of Adaptive Intelligence Consulting Limited
He empowers leaders to release their Adaptive Intelligence
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Carrot and Stick: An Epic Fail in the 21st Century?

So, if we repair this mismatch between what science knows and what business does, if we bring our notions of motivation into the 21st century, if we get past this lazy, dangerous, ideology of carrots and sticks, we can strengthen our businesses. ~ Dan Pink

Today’s Challenge

Here’s the challenge. How do you maintain your own motivation and that of the people who work with you? Our experience tells us a balanced programme of incentives and targets is the way to go. Paradoxically, pretty much every independent laboratory and work-place study shows the opposite is true.

So what is the right approach?

Well as always it really depends.

“Offer someone the opportunity to rebuild a company or reinvent an industry as the primary incentive, and it will attract those drawn to the challenge first and the money second.” ~ Simon Sinek

Dan Pink, a thought leader on motivation in business, proposes in his TED talk that carrots and sticks are only useful for simple linear tasks requiring little creativity or flexibility in approach; what he refers to as 20th Century challenges.

Just The Facts…

This strategy backfires when more challenging, fast moving, multifaceted problems with no clear solutions are encountered. Here research shows that incentives actually reduce performance and achievement!

Seems crazy but an overwhelming body of objective evidence shows this is the case.

So, why ignore facts?

As a good example of this research, Uri Gneezy and his colleagues Stephan Meier, and Pedro Rey-Biel describe very well the unplanned consequences which can arise from introducing incentives for education, public good, or behaviour and also when they are withdrawn.

Intriguingly, it seems that crowds also behave counter intuitively in response to incentives. In their fascinating on-line experiment using Amazon’s Mechanical Turk (AMT), Winter Mason and Duncan J Watts showed that financial incentives increased the quantity but decreased the quality of work performed by participants.

If we then look at what it takes to create intrinsic motivation to change whole systems Michael Fullen takes a pretty good shot at it.

21st Century Challenges

How then should we approach complex uncertain 21st Century challenges? The answer is to go to the solutions that we know in our hearts are the answer.

If you are leading a team or an organisation, first take a minute to investigate what motivates you:

  • The money is nice but again the evidence shows that this is not even close to the top motivating factor in work
  • Do you enjoy being trusted to make decisions (autonomy)?
  • Do you enjoy the feeling of command of your business subject (mastery) and do you enjoy it when you understand why you are doing this thing (purpose)?

“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.” ~ Denis Waitley

Reaching our Goals

How then do targets get met you may ask? The answer is that if all of us have autonomy and mastery which we apply to a common purpose it is more likely that targets become mere guides rather than endpoints.

More often than not they are over shot by actual achievement.

It also means that the workforce is equipped to adapt to rapid and sometimes extreme change rather than have a myopic fixed target. The last advantage of dumping carrots and sticks is it’s just more enjoyable to turn up to work. A happy workforce focused on meaningful goals is more likely to be a productive workforce.

And that includes you!

All Things Considered

Consider this:

  • Notice which things and events left you feeling positive and motivated – were they carrots or sticks, simple or complex and most of all how did this affect your motivation?
  • Look for any moments where you exercised your autonomy and/or mastery – how did it make you feel?
  • Notice the effect on you if things you did today felt as if they had no purpose?
  • Chose one thing to do that shows your autonomy, mastery and purpose and sense how you feel.
  • Reflect on whether those you work with might have similar experiences.

Recommended Reading:

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us – Daniel H Pink

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Learn, Grow & Develop Other Leaders

——————–
 Gary Coulton

Dr Gary R Coulton is CEO of Adaptive Intelligence Consulting Limited
He empowers leaders to release their Adaptive Intelligence
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Blog | Web

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