How Effective Leaders Can Use Social Media

Posted on February 2, 2013 by Robert Cordray

Social Media Icons

Being a leader of a team has many faces.

One almost has to be a paranoid schizophrenic to have effective leadership skills nowadays.

So many voices talking to them and so many personalities that they must exemplify to fit all the roles they play, it’s a wonder they stay sane.

Changing Business Landscape

The business world has drastically changed in the last five years.

Social media has swept in and torched the landscape like Smaug from the Hobbit. The land looks different from what it used to look like, and now we have a bunch of fresh young pines sprouting up all over our companies who are intimately tied to the social media machine.

LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, Tumbler, Foursquare, and whatever else people are using…they are using it a lot.Generation Xers and the Baby Boomers are just as active as the Millennials and their use of social media in the workplace.

Company leaders have to lead, and one thing we can rest our laurels on is that social media opens up a new line of communication that we didn’t have before.

When used wisely social media can enhance leadership capabilities.

I am going to try and illustrate why leaders should stay social media savvy in order to further their goals and objectives.

Social Media Increases Speed

In business, speed can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

If you can act quickly and decisively on the right information you can make a lot of money. Conversely, if the information vital to decision-making is unavailable due to lack of communication speed, a missed opportunity can leave an indelible mark on the leader and the company.

Social media drastically speeds up the communication machine.

Sure, email is still fast, but it’s not 23-seconds fast. I say 23-because when something important happens, let’s say something political, my phone sends me a push notification and by the time I open it up it seems like it’s been about 23-seconds.

An email sent to your inbox will not be seen that fast.

An employee could share something on the company Facebook page or send a direct message which could be seen by you or other decision making individuals in the organization and acted upon quickly. I love that!

Social Media Increases Communication

I believe we’ve already had a paradigm shift when it comes to communication.

There are lots of naysayers out there who think that communicating via text or smart phone is doing a disservice to the psyche of everyone in the world. I understand that body language and other verbal subtleties are lacking in electronic communication, but the fact of the matter is some communication in the workplace, to get things done quickly and efficiently, doesn’t require body language.

It doesn’t bother me that employees might tweet each other instead of getting out of their chairs and walking two or three cubicles down the aisle.

That’s because a tweet or direct message is light years faster than standing up and walking to someone else’s desk.

In my experience, social media does not distract or isolate employees. On the contrary, it brings them together, albeit in an online space, and speeds up talking points. As a leader I believe we should encourage employees to utilize social media this way to communicate when appropriate.

Social Media Humanizes

There is something about a “quick” email, when you compare to social media, that sucks the life out of the message. In an email it is too easy to confuse the emotional meaning behind the words. I’ve sent a number of quick emails over the course of my career that were construed in a negative way I didn’t intend them to be.

People thought I was being too “mean” or too “bossy” in the way I came across, but in reality I just wasn’t being excessively polite by saying please and thank you and each sentence!

By communicating via social media you actually feel “real” to the recipient.

Starting out a direct message by saying “hey Jack, do you have a second?” And then as that person responds you can engage them in a real-time conversation in a way that can’t be done through email. 10 years ago people used to use instant messaging regularly in the same fashion, but IM has gone WAY down in usage.

I think instant messaging will be dead in a few years…it’s already on life support. So, by having a real-time conversation using a social media platform you humanize your electronic communications making them much more effective.

This in turn makes you a better and more approachable leader.

Don’t go crazy using social media, but don’t give it the cold shoulder either. Social media, in some form or another, will be with us for the foreseeable future. It has a lot of advantages, and don’t get me wrong it does have disadvantages, but I think the advantages heavily outweigh the disadvantages. Use it wisely and use it well, it should increase your effectiveness and power as a leader.

**********

Never miss an issue of Linked 2 Leadership, subscribe today!
Learn, Grow & Develop Other Leaders™

———————

Robert Cordray
Robert Cordray is a freelance writer with over 20 years of business experience
He does the occasional business consult to help increase employee morale
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Web

Image Sources: multyshades.com

Related articles

Filed under: Authentic Leadership, Emotionally Intelligent Leadership, Future Leadership Issues, Servant Leadership, Technology & Leadership | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Emerging Leaders: Leading the “New World”

Posted on November 13, 2012 by Michael R Stanford

Leading Technology

As leaders in a professional environment, we always aim to convey a message with good intentions. However, we can oftentimes fail. This is because we haven’t crafted our message for the correct target.

Our messages are not always clear because we don’t always understand our audience.

Engaging Future Leaders

I am a person, a leader, a mentor who aims to engage future leaders and develop an understanding of methods to connect with all generations to enhance communication and leadership growth.

There is a huge divide between the “Net Generation” and other generations because technology has exponentially developed this group of people.

Who knew that social media would be the greatest influence over a group of people?

A Growing Divide

Teachers, coaches, mentors, and leaders a like struggle to connect with the new generation of leaders. And this disconnect between these groups becomes more clear as the years progress.

Our job as leaders is to make sure our future leaders are ready for the future world, starting now to develop the “Net Generation,” helping them understand the advantages and disadvantages that technology has created for them.

Technical Edge

Cutting Through the Crowd

Now, many may understand the advantages of being tech savvy which are:

  1. They are able to connect with larger audiences more globally.
  2. They can work faster with more mobility.
  3. They can understand more and have more resources to produce results and develop others.

A Double-Edged Sword

What many don’t understand is that there are disadvantages as well:

  1. Everyone is under a microscope and the world of Human Resources is stronger than ever with fewer people and more resources. This means that social media can be used for hiring practices to get a better snap shot of people. People and leaders alike need to watch what they post as posts are seen by more than just friends and family. Networking circles are larger than ever before.
  2. Verbal communication skills have become diluted; much of today’s communication is via device without speaking.
  3. Connecting with multiple generations has become more difficult because the differences have become exponential.

Closing the Gap

Now, to close the gap between generations to enhance communication and develop “simply great leaders” we must teach listening and understanding, which are the basics to human interaction and chemistry.

I have…

  • Spent some time developing myself to understand the complexities of social media.
  • Utilized social media as a leader and employer to get a better understanding of this topic and to help develop young leaders.
  • Used social media to make decisions about hiring leaders into organization in which I have worked.

Emerging leaders need more guidance and coaching than ever before so we need to be there to help.

Mentoring New Leaders

I have mentored emerging leaders and the key to success is to find common interest with leadership goals and practice one-on-one communication through coaching practices.

Unfortunately, as business professionals we have fine lines as to how much we can inform new candidates and employees in regards to business do’s and don’ts ; we have to generic, ensuring equality and professionalism which can hinder the growth of potential emerging leaders.

Today’s leaders need to step out of their comfort zone make a difference for the future.

Taking the Time

Taking time to develop and educate future leaders, raising awareness about the effects of social media though sincere coaching and development; this is what we need to build a stronghold of the next generation leaders.

Effective communication is about listening and understanding while conveying a message that a person or group of people will understand. The best way to convey a message is to understand the audience to which it is being conveyed. Keep in mind that the great leaders of tomorrow will encompass the teachings of the leaders of today.

So how are you doing in bridging the gaps that exist in your organization? How well are you reaching out to those in different generations to help your operation run smoother? What are some of the (technological) barriers that are keeping you from better engagement with others? I would love to hear your thoughts!

**********

Never miss an issue of Linked 2 Leadership, subscribe today here!
Learn, Grow & Develop Other Leaders™

———————

Michael R Stanford is Doctoral Learner at UOP
He does occasional motivational speaking for community colleges
Email | LinkedIn| Facebook | Web

Image Source: thedroidguy.com

Related articles

Filed under: Leading & Developing Other Leaders, Leading Change, Practical Steps to Influence, Technology & Leadership | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Leaders: Who’s Managing Your Social Media?

Posted on May 14, 2012 by C.K. Brechin

Tweet

Companies invest millions of dollars a year on their brand, whether they realize it or not.

Everything a company does – from how they engage their customers, to how they recruit employees and how they market their products — are all rolled up in a corporate brand and contribute to people’s perceptions of that brand.

But one aspect many companies simply fail to acknowledge as a significant part of their investment is.

This simple fact has two big word: social media.

What’s in a Word?

With the advent of social media, the value of “word of mouth” has gone up exponentially. That 1970s Faberge commercial that follows along the lines of, “I’ll tell two friends and they’ll tell two friends” has shifted at a pace comparable to Moore’s law and the progress being made with processing power.

In a recent Nielson Social Media Report (October 2011) it was found that 60 percent of social media users create reviews of products and services, and that consumer created reviews/ratings are the preferred source for information about product/service, price and product quality.

In addition, the report also found that 70 percent of social media users make online purchases, 12 percent more than other online users do.

The case in point is that your customers are out there talking about you. And they are doing it now.

They are either positively or negatively influencing others’ purchasing decisions regarding your product or service.

So Where’s the Training? 

A recent survey of HR professionals by the Society of Human Resources Management found that 68 percent of organizations have employees who use social media to reach external audiences, including potential customers and employees. That same survey (Social Media in the Workplace) also found that only 27 percent of employers provide social-media training to their employees. (Only 27 percent!!)

A company’s online brand must be responsive, authentic, and innovative in order to maintain both existing “fans” while also attracting new “fans.”

Due to the fast pace of change in the social media arena, companies must think ahead and create a plan that can evolve with the market.

Enhancing your Business and Brand

The beauty of social media is that you can use and tailor it to your needs. This flexibility gives you quite a bit of freedom when using the various avenues available to you to support and build your brand and business. However, you need to be doing a few key things to be utilizing it to its full potential.

It is important that you learn how to correctly use social media so that you don’t let it manage your brand; You need to manage your social media to enhance your brand.

Questions for Leaders

With that, we suggest you ask yourself the following questions concerning your enterprise:

  1. Do you have a social media policy for employees that represent your brand?
  2. Do you allow your employees to add your organization to their LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter accounts? (Why or why not?)
  3. Have you, as an organization (or as an individual) offered or received training on the importance of social media and the positive and or negatives it may have on you or your organization? (Many companies have an employee termination clause in contracts around disparaging or inappropriate use of social media. Then again, many don’t.)
  4. Do you use social media for “brand-building?”
  5. What, if any, analytics do you track?

**********

Never miss an issue of Linked 2 Leadership, subscribe today here!
Learn, Grow & Develop Other Leaders™

———————–
Kim Brechin is Principal at Look-Solutions
She manages & leads high performance teams within competitive markets
Email | LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | Blog | Web | 503-869-3304

Image Sources: tudosobremarketingdigital.files.wordpress.com

Filed under: Coaching Corner, Technology & Leadership | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

On Leadership, Habits and Approachability

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Debra Olejownik

Approachability

Are you approachable? Or have you unwittingly locked yourself into comfortable patterns and habits that are making you boring and impersonal? 

If you have, then it might be time to change! Your future may depend on it…

Change on a Personal Level

Fixed habits are hard to break.  Our habitual nature causes us to be fixed, rigid, and unwilling to change. I know my mind has fallen into this rut in the past, it’s happened to all of us at some point. 

Some of the habits I’m talking about are:

  • Having the same response to routine questions
  • Greeting clients with the same greeting you have been using for the past few years
  • Use the same words no matter what question you kids are asking

What kind of habits do you have when faced with essential conversations?

Research proves that habit rather than deliberation shapes over 40% of the decisions we make every day.”

Even though our natural response to our most frequent activities becomes a habit, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is always the most desirable.  Let’s think about this for a minute: A personal, authentic and heartfelt greeting to our family members is more meaningful than a standard fixed and boring auto-response.

Boring and Impersonal

This is what an auto response is for communication, boring and impersonal. Yes, we know you are busy, but when you are busy, sometimes saying nothing is much better than saying something for the sake of it…

Social Media

Simply put, auto responses will put you on the highway to nowhere. Think about this for a minute: Social Media. Social media is anything that gets people communicating, engaged in conversation, and to be a part of something.

Some of the most common forms of   social media are: Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Blogs, and Interactive Webinars. One thing social media is NOT is auto-response.

Here’s one suggestion that will work better than an auto-response message to your followers on one of your social media sites. Let’s use Facebook for example and let’s say you have new followers and comments: Once a week post something like this on Facebook

Thanks for all the new followers and comments. We look forward to your continuing comments, keep coming back!”

Automated Tweeting and Blog Posts

According to Freelance Copywriter’s Blog, Twitter, a social media platform that allows us to communicate in less than 140 characters. However, when posting automated tweets or posts to your blog, take a few minutes to write one line and the link to your latest blog post – much more professional and social.

If you post or tweet just to put something out there, this is a bad idea and honestly the content looks bad when it’s posted.

If you are going to use an auto post for example, for your blog post, you might post the following on Facebook:

“We have some thoughts on auto responses. Click on over to our blog to read our thoughts. What do you think?”

This is much more attractive, welcoming, informative, appealing, engaging, and social ~ after all, that’s what social media networks are supposed to be doing.

Translation

Let’s translate this into the people we meet on a daily basis, whether they are our friends, clients, customers, colleagues, or co-workers.

How do you think they would feel if you greeted them with a half-hearted message? How do you think you would feel if someone greeted you the same way? What perceptions would you walk away with?  Would you feel as though the greeting was casual, random and mindless? And, would you want someone to greet you the same way you greeted them?”

Here’s what you can do: Put a little effort into your greeting.  Choose one or more of the following: make it new, inviting, invigorating, genuine, delightful, and heartfelt.  You may be surprised at how people will respond to you.

They will welcome you with a smile, expressive eyes, a sincere hand shake, and or a genuine greeting in return.

A small positive change in a habit or routine can attract sudden, overwhelming good fortune.

One Conversation at a Time

According to Scott Ginsberg, in his book The Power of Approachability, approachability is a way of life, a way of business, a way of communication, and a way of social interaction.

In other words, approachability is a two-way street; you must be approachable and you must approach others if you are going to communicate with them.

Scott talks about the how and why to be approachable and offers a new model to an old idea: the basic to all victory in interpersonal communication is how approachable – and how willing to approach others – you are.

According to Scott: “Approachability is a way of life. Become the epitome of it.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on some of the fixed habit greetings and messages you have sent and received; auto-responses; social media; and on your approachability.

**********

Never miss an issue of Linked 2 Leadership, subscribe today here.
Learn, Grow & Develop Other Leaders™

——————–
Debra Olejownik is a consultant with DJC Core Consulting & Support Services, LLC
She helps clients identify comprehensive solutions to problems that inspires change
Email |  LinkedIn | Web

Image Sources:shopsoco.com


Related articles

Filed under: Leadership Lessons Learned, Leading & Developing Other Leaders, Servant Leadership, Technology & Leadership | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Age of Relationship Has Come of Age

Posted on April 6, 2011 by Sylvia Lafair, PhD

The Age of Relationship

“What kind of workplace do you want to join?”

I asked this question to many people I meet. I ask the millennials,  gen Y’s, the gen X’s, the boomers, even those starting high school that I call the gen F’s (the Facebook crowd…)

What Do You Want?

The kind of organization that people want to be in emphasizes these aspects:

  • Self-development
  • Quality of relationship
  • Meaningful activity
  • Cooperative effort
  • Combinations of individual space and group connectedness
  • Balance between time to work and time to play (without a twist of guilt thrown into the mix)
  • Blending of diverse people and ideas without polarization

What Do You NOT Want?

The kind of organization that people DO NOT WANT to be in reject these aspects:

  • Worker separateness
  • Workplace silos
  • Competitive struggle for success
  • Boring old repetitive office politics

Organizations have gone through changes just as technology and society have changed and evolved. Workers from bygone generations are not the same as the ones in today’s workforce.

In yester-decades, relationships and social networking where not as pronounced as they are in today’s work environment. Consequently, attitudes about work and organizations have changed.

So when and how did these changes occur?

Historical Context

In this time of shifting economic and social values, attitudes about what is important to large numbers of people have shifted.

Q’s ::

Were they the result of the rapid rise of social media?

Did this new paradigm begin with the peace and love movement of the ‘60’s, underground until now?

Was it from the forgotten “command-and-control” organizational structure that permeated post WWII workers that has since evaporated?

A :: Yes to the above.

And we can go back even earlier to find the stirrings that have led to more and more demand for a better way to work together. When the Holy Roman Empire, the church was the dominant institution throughout Western Europe. It told everyone what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.

If you disagreed, well, it got ugly.

At some point the Industrial Revolution caused a new way to thinking. However, the rules were not that much different. A small group of men at the helm of the work wheel told people what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.

Bells rang at specific times, made the workers salivate and take action.

There were only three options: clock in and move into work areas, clock out and go home, or go to the place designed for a meal and eat your sandwich.  Not much individuality there. Sadly, that sounds like most of the schools in this country.

Ah well, that’s for another blog.

Today’s Context

The business world is still king. With all the technology and social media at hand, the workplace hierarchy is in the process of deep change. Leadership is no longer just a function of the person or people at the top of the organizational chart. Taking a systems’ perspective and a relationship view leadership can contribute from anywhere in the organization.

This is the time and the place for everyone in every company to become a relationship expert.

It’s not that hard. We have permitted this realm that impacts all of us, be the sacred space of “the experts” for way too long.

Think of It This Way

We are all born from a relationship, through a relationship, into some form of relationship, often called family.

We take what we learned there with us into school and then to work. All we need to do is learn the skinny on how relationships work at work. Then off we can go to create, collaborate, celebrate, and make work a place we can’t wait to get to rather than a place we want to get away from.

This is vital for all organizations right now!

So how are you doing at adapting to the changes in technology, attitudes, values, and generational forces that appear in your organizations? How are you balancing the shift in expectations from the people on your teams? Are you adapting well to these changes, or do you find then annoying or difficult to handle? I would love to hear your thoughts!

——————–
Sylvia Lafair, PhD. is President, Creative Energy Options, Inc.
She does Workplace Relationships, Conflict Resolution, Exec Coaching & Consulting
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Web | Blog | Book

Images Sources: webover50.net

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Filed under: Leading & Developing Other Leaders, Leading Change | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

How Do Leaders Make Time for Social Media?

Posted on March 15, 2011 by Meredith Bell

Social Media Monopoly

You read every day about the importance of getting involved with Social Media – LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, blogging…the list can seem endless.

If you haven’t already jumped on the bandwagon, you may be thinking this:

“Who has time for that, with everything else I’m juggling at work?”

It would be easy for an already-swamped leader to feel overwhelmed and avoid it altogether. After all, many people waste precious hours on these websites every day, with nothing to show for it.

In my journey to figure out how to incorporate social media into my work day, I’ve adopted some time-saving strategies that result in a positive ROI for my time and effort.

Be Selective

Thumbs Up Thumbs DownDecide what kinds of information you want to share and who you want to reach. That sounds like Marketing 101, right? But when you’re clear about your message and your audience, you’ll have clarity about where to invest your time and effort.

For example, the topic of leadership is key in my business, so I read and comment on leadership blogs, I join leadership-focused groups on LinkedIn, and I follow people on Twitter who use the hashtag #leadership in their tweets.

Be Disciplined

The way to waste minutes or even hours is to constantly check various sites throughout the day. I schedule time first thing in the morning, around lunch, and at the end of the work day to respond to messages.

Knowing up-front what I want to carry out during that time helps me stay focused.

Deliver value, Not Promotion

People who friend or follow you are looking for content that can help them, so they’re turned off by blatant promotions and ads. When you post links to informative blog posts and videos you’ve created, you place yourself as an authority on the topic and as a contributor to the greater community.

Collaborate

Find Ways to Recognize Others

Everyone likes to be acknowledged and appreciated, so when they share something you’ve posted or make a comment on your blog, take time to thank them. In addition to being a demonstration of common courtesy, a basic leadership principle is at work here:

“What gets rewarded gets repeated.”

Taking time to say “thank you” increases the likelihood that someone will share more of your material in the future. On Twitter I’ve been surprised how many people re-tweet a thank-you message that I’ve sent them.

Share Valuable Content From Others

Just as you want to get exposure for your content, thousands of others are involved with Social Media to achieve that same goal. Whenever you read a post or message that has value for you, take time to share it with the members of your community. The people you promote will appreciate your effort and be more likely to reciprocate.

Automate

Automate TwitterThis is my biggest secret for generating the number of messages I put out each day. I could not contribute what I do on these sites if it were not for automation tools like HootSuite and Tweet Adder.

With HootSuite, you can post a message to multiple sites like Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn at the same time, and you can organize people into groups for easy viewing. Some of my groups include Leadership, Personal Development, Coaches/Consultants, and Business Leaders.

Tweet Adder automates several functions, such as finding people to follow according to criteria you specify (e.g., followers of a specific person or people who include a hashtag like #leadership in their tweets) and scheduling multiple tweets for an entire day or week.

There are many other free or low-cost tools you can use to minimize the number of tasks you need to do manually.

Delegate

I have someone on my staff use Tweet Adder to schedule the quotes and blog posts I select for the week. If you don’t have someone who can assist you like this, there are many virtual assistants who specialize in Social Media to help you. It’s important to consider the best use of your time.

A word of caution:

If you delegate thank-you’s and other interactions with people in your community, you risk losing your “voice.” I’ve read blog posts and received messages that I recognized were not written by the specific individuals (because I know their writing style), and these come across as unauthentic.

Besides, it’s impossible to form relationships with people second-hand.

The Bottom Line

You can form valuable professional and personal relationships using Social Media. There are examples every day of people finding jobs, getting introductions and landing contracts due to connections made on Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn.

You can create a community of fans who happily promote you and your business when you discover how to be a meaningful contributor without taking up your entire work day.

What strategies do you use to make the best use of Social Media? Are there tools that help you automate and leverage your time? Which Social Media sites do you participate in most…and why? What are some of the positive benefits you’ve experienced as a result?

——————–
Meredith Bell is President of Performance Support Systems, Inc.
She has online virtual coaching for developing personal strengths & people skills
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Web | Online Coach

Image Sources: static.funnyjunk.com, financialpost.com, static.rbi.com.au

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Filed under: Coaching Corner, Leadership Lessons Learned, Leading & Developing Other Leaders, Life Balance, Professional Development, Technology & Leadership | Tagged: , , , , | 18 Comments »

5 Ways To Be Charming

Posted on March 14, 2011 by LaRae Quy

Prince Charming

It’s impossible to change people’s minds unless you change their hearts, too.  That means it takes more than shallow, fleeting relationships to get the job done. It comes down to this: in a world of mass media—more than ever—you must learn how to charm people.

Charm is the power of pleasing or attracting others through our personality. There have been several arguments that social media is damaging our people skills. I disagree. The charm of manners and personality is as important in social media as it is in face-to-face conversations.

FBI Charm School

I spent 20 years as an FBI undercover and counterintelligence agent and my job was to recruit foreign spies to work for the U.S. Government. I learned this: the greater the goal, the more important it is to change the heart as well as the mind. In my work, it was imperative for me to learn ways to transform relationships and situations.

My years in the FBI was a grueling course in learning good manners because people were not going to talk to me, let alone follow me, unless I could engage them in a meaningful way.

A few years back, I arranged to meet a Russian Intelligence Officer at a coffee shop near Union Square in San Francisco. As you might expect, Igor was nervous when we met and probably suspected I planned to blackmail him into cooperating with the FBI. He was a big lug of a guy and it was sort of amusing to watch him tremble and stutter out of sheer terror.

But that was not my intention. If I wanted to change Igor’s mind about the FBI, I had to change his heart, too.

To elicit his cooperation, I needed to transform hostility into hospitality.

Why Is Charm Necessary?

Sometimes it’s not all about the money. The days of closing skills and hard pitches as the answer to improving sales are over. Customers are getting too sophisticated for this approach; they use mass media to educate themselves about a product and make their decisions right then and there. If we’re on the losing end of this decision, our job is to change their mind by changing their heart.

In my case, the KGB (later known as the SVR) had first claim on Igor’s allegiance. I doubted he would defect to the U.S., but that didn’t mean I’d given up on him, either. He could still be useful. I would simply have to charm him.

What Does Charm Look Like?

This is not an exhaustive list, but here are some tips from my FBI charm school:

1. Listen

This is difficult because it means you really do have to focus on the person in front of you—whether you’re knee-to-knee and nose-to-nose with a person or in front of a computer screen answering emails. Do not lapse into planning tomorrow or checking items off your to-do list. It means being present with both sides of the conversation—not just your side.

Igor’s English was poor so I really did have to concentrate to understand what he was trying to say.

2. Adapt

Match your personality to your employee, prospect or client. This means quickly assessing whether they are introverts or extraverts, analytical or a visionary, purpose-driven or security-driven, goal-oriented or people-oriented. If you’ve been a good listener, you will be able to make these distinctions.

Igor was not a risk taker so I immediately re-framed the conversation. Instead of making a single suggestion, I offered a series of smaller, bite-sized ones he could take time to consider, and get comfortable with, before we moved onto the larger goal.

3. Sincerity

Only by taking the time to develop relationships, can you fully understand people’s needs, desires, and fears. Until this happens, it’s very difficult to engage them in any meaningful way.

Igor worried a lot. He was suspicious of everything and professed loyalty to the Russian Intelligence Services. I assured him that I had no intention of asking him to be a traitor to such a fine organization.

4. Respect

In a culture that at times seems to be losing its ability to have respect for the opposing point of view, it’s important to give others the respect that is due to them without trying to belittle them in the process.

Igor expected to be bullied by the FBI, and when he finally understood that I had no intention of placing him in an uncomfortable situation, I sensed his gratitude.

5. Tact

A person with tact knows what to say or do to avoid giving offense. Tact is essential when dealing with difficult or delicate situations. Do not ask embarrassing questions that put people on the defensive. Perhaps the biggest tip for developing tact is this: think before you say something. Try role-playing with a friend and ask for their input. Are you coming across the way you want?

Igor expected to be blackmailed (for what, I don’t know—it made me think I hadn’t watched him close enough!) It was important that he walk away from our conversation with his dignity because I wanted to leave the door open for future conversations with him.

I had no intention of “pitching” Igor or trying to recruit him to work for the FBI. I did want to leave a favorable impression, however. Over time, Igor felt comfortable enough with me to provide valuable assessment on his fellow Intelligence Officers.

The charm had worked.

How have you charmed people? What tips can you offer to others? How would you describe the difference between being charming and manipulative?

——————–
LaRae Quy is former FBI Agent and Founder at Your Best Adventure
She helps clients explore the unknown and discover the hidden truth in self & others
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Web | Blog

Image Source: img.disneyfairytales.com

Filed under: Leadership Lessons Learned, Leading & Developing Other Leaders, Leading Change | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Next Page »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 37,792 other followers

%d bloggers like this: