How to Lead People You Don’t Agree With

Posted on February 6, 2013 by Anil Saxena

Conflict at Work

Politics and religion…

These are two topics that many people suggestion should stay “non-topics” in a polite society.

Fightin’ Words

Following politics in any country shows the passion that people have for their points of view. In the recent election for US President, the voting populace was severely divided.

Families fought and friendships ended.

But, what about at work?  Can you lead someone that you disagree with politically, religiously or otherwise?

Religion and politics are the third rail of work.  No one is supposed to talk about them or be upset about differences.

But is this realistic?  No.

Diversity and the global nature of work have caused an integration of people that, left to their own devices, might not associate with each other otherwise.

Leading Through Opinions

So, if we have to work with and lead people we don’t agree with how do we do it? 

Why is it hard to do?

There are two main reasons it’s hard to work with those that you disagree.

1. You see parts of yourself and your beliefs that you don’t really like

“The reason you can’t stand that person in the first place, is that they remind you of what you can’t stand about yourself.- Peter Bregman

2. It causes you to question your beliefs

Any time someone has a worldview or set of beliefs that are different than yours, it calls your beliefs into question.  That is never easy or comfortable.  But, unless its something fundamental like “thou shall not kill”, it can give you different perspective and help you see the world through other’s eyes.

So what do you do about it?

Engage and Finding Common Ground

Work hard to find things to agree and work together on.  There are often more similarities than differences between people. Organizations and teams are ripe with a variety areas to have common ground:

  • Team goals
  • Project completion
  • Project outcomes
  • Company success
  • Professional growth

Regularly explore and expand on them.

Whenever I take on a new team, I always meet with each person and spend time exploring our commonalities.  This way we can begin to build on those right away.  Differences come easily. If they show up after you’ve already built a foundation of commonalities, they are less likely to impact how work together effectively.

Focus on What They Do Well

No matter what you think of someone’s views, they often are exceptional, or at least capable, in a few areas.  When leading someone that you don’t agree with it’s important to keep those skills at the forefront when working with them.

Otherwise, the people you don’t agree with will become stereotypes.

Conservatives will seem militant; liberals will seem noncommittal, etc.  This occurs because of a phenomenon called “self fulfilling prophecy.”

“A self-fulfilling prophecy is a thought or expectation that occurs because it has been thought. For example, when a teacher assumes that a certain student is not intelligent, the teacher might give that student less positive attention and more negative attention, resulting in poorer performance by the student….. Our behavior can affect others, particularly people over whom we have authority or with whom we spend significant amounts of time.” ~ GoodTherapy.com

The problem is that it can impact the folks we lead and work with. Working with people that are different than us can make us better if we let it.  Remember to focus on each person’s positives.

Don’t Dwell on What You Don’t Agree

When there is an area or topic that you don’t agree with someone about, don’t make it the focal point of your relationship.  It is not healthy and makes the team less productive.

  • Time spent trying to change an opinion that doesn’t impact the success or failure of the team is time wasted.
  • Move on and focus on activities THAT WILL PRODUCE RESULTS.
  • Surprisingly, people are much more tolerant of others when they are winning.
  • Focus on being a high performance team creates tolerance.

Seeking Out Their Opinion

Some of the very best advice given is from folks that you don’t agree with politically or philosophically.  Their opinion is unvarnished. Compliments are more sincere, criticism more pointed and solutions more clear.

People that think differently than you come at issues, problems, etc. from a perspective you don’t have.

It provides for rich ideas that you might not think of on your own or with someone who thinks like you. Actively seek out opinions of those you don’t agree with, you will develop better solutions and become a better person in the process.

Fightin’ Fair

In order to have a high performing team or organization, ideas and solutions must come from everywhere.  People must feel free to share their thoughts without worrying about self-censoring their own beliefs.  This stifles creativity and tamps down productivity.

  • Stick up for their right to have an opinion different than yours and of others.
  • Champion the voice of those that you don’t agree with.
  • Make sure they have the platform to speak and share ideas.

Real leaders and partners give voice to everyone on the team, not just the ones that are the same religion or political affiliation.

Being a leader means that you will work with all kinds of people, those that you agree with and those you don’t. You are creating a legacy with every interaction. What is it that you are creating?

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Anil Saxena
Anil Saxena is a Senior Consultant and Business Partner with Coffman Organization
He helps organizations create environments that generate repeatable superior results
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Web | Blog | (888) 999-0940 x-730

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On Love and Leadership

Posted on January 27, 2013 by Andy Uskavitch

Leading in Love

“Love is a many splendored thing.”  “All you need is love.”  “Love me tender.”  “Love to love you baby.”  “Thou shalt love thy neighbor.”

Hmm.  I didn’t see anything about loving your employees.  I’m not saying you have to “love” them.  I’m talking about a simple relationship.  Think of it as love, without the . . . “love.”

Understanding Love

When we’re IN love, we’re in a whole ‘nother mindset.  Leadership is a different mindset also.  Lets take a look at some of the basics.

Love shows kindness . . . and kindness makes you someone who’s likeable.  People see that you’re someone they want to be around.  Someone that will be good to them . . . and in turn good for them.

Here is something the Bible says about love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

On Leadership and Love

As a leader, you need to be there for your employees.  You don’t have to win the “most popular” award every year, but you do need to be liked enough that they’ll be with you and follow you.  They can help you as much as you can help them.

In love, you lose your selfishness.  You become devoted to another.  We’re all selfish in one way or another, but we can get over that.

We’re always trying to get ahead.  Doing so in the wrong ways is being selfish.  Taking the credit for something that belongs to an employee(s) is selfish.  Don’t do it.  If the credit belongs to someone else, give it.  If it can be honestly shared then great.  Want what’s truly best for your staff.

Love is full of thoughtfulness.  It comes with the territory.

When you fall in love, thoughtfulness comes quite easily, right.  Buying flowers, opening doors, doing the dishes or laundry.  It’s a wonderful time.  Then over time it often starts to slow.  Just like in leadership.

Changing to Improve

When we become leaders or get promoted, we try hard from the outset – open-door policies, awards, being an open part of the team.  Then as time goes on, the door closes, the awards get put on the back burner, and you become “the boss.” But just like in love, we have to keep trying, changing, and improving our leadership skills.

When in love, we think the best of our love interest and show appreciation.

This person means the world to us and she/he is the best thing to ever come our way.  We buy flowers, we hold hands, we smile (a lot), we show the world how we feel.

Building Trust

In business we must think of our staff as the best in the business – or at least in the organization.  There’s another word you can use to describe this . . . TRUST.  If we don’t believe in and trust our employees then that’s what they’ll give us right back. It becomes a vicious circle that keeps growing until there’s absolutely no positive relationship at all.

How long do you think a love relationship would last like that?  Even the slightest bit of appreciation is better than none at all.

Love can harbor no jealousy.

If your love has a better job, so what.  If she/he has a bigger network or gets more awards, so what.

Leading With Humility

There’s no one leader in this world who knows everything.  Don’t pretend you do.  You can’t keep yourself surrounded by a bunch of “yes men.” A good leader will have people who have knowledge at ALL levels (even more than you) and have varying ideas.  You can sometimes learn as much from some of your employees as they can from you.

With love comes intimacy.  (And you know what I’m talking about.  Don’t go running to HR!)

In leadership, intimacy just means knowing your people.  Think of Tom Peters’ Managing by Wandering Around (MBWA).  Get out and see your folks.  Talk to them.  Find out about their families, their interests, their hopes for the future.

Find out what they need to do the best job that they can.

Being Faithful

Love generates faithfulness.  Love is a choice, not just a feeling.  It’s not a reaction, it’s an initiated action.

We choose to love someone because we feel a need and a want to be with that person.

Like love, leadership is a choice.  Leadership is not for everyone.  It takes a certain type of person to be really successful.  If you don’t want to do the job to the best of your ability . . . step away.

Effective Communication

And maybe most importantly, love needs communication.  Love needs open communication.  No beating around the bush.  No, “you should know what I’m thinking.”  Pure open communication . . . with discussion.

Leadership is no different.  We have to communicate clearly and concisely with our employees.  You can’t hold someone accountable for their work if they don’t know what they’re supposed to do.  People WANT to do their best.  They can’t do that without all the puzzle pieces.

And remember that even if you don’t have something to share, they still need to know that.  When people feel they’re lacking communication, they start filling in the gaps themselves.

A Work in Progress

People will commonly say, “If you loved me ________ would come naturally.”  That’s so untrue.  Like I discussed earlier, we have to keep trying new things, modifying, and advancing.  Our leadership skills are no different.

They’re both a continuous work in progress!

How is your relationship with your staff?  What can you work on, short-term, to make things better?  What can you work on, long-term, to make things better?

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——————–
Andy Uskavitch
Andy Uskavitch is Leadership Development at Florida Blood Services
He develops and facilitates Leadership, Motivation & Teambuilding Seminars
Email | LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | Blog |  (727) 568-5433

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Leaders: How to Set Expectations For Success

Posted on November 14, 2012 by Denis G. McLaughlin

Dunce

Leaders: People will perform up to your expectations – set your expectations at your team’s full potential, then help them succeed.

Names Effect Enthusiasm

Sports teams select names that are meant to encourage the team to succeed and inspire the fans to cheer.

Some professional teams have names that represent action like:

  • The San Diego Chargers
  • Detroit Tigers
  • Chicago Bulls

Other teams have names that celebrate their towns like:

  • The New England Patriots
  • Phoenix Suns
  • Montreal Canadians

Can you imagine sports teams with a name like: “The Fumblers” or “The Strike-Outs” or “The Penalty Box?” Of course not.

Naming People

Similarly, no person should be named in a way that limits their opportunity to achieve success like: “Advanced as far as they can” or “Not smart enough” or “Not leadership material.”

Maybe that person’s strengths are better used in another role that will free them to shine.

Successful Leaders don’t limit growth, they help people discover and develop their strengths.

German author and politician Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said:

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

The level of enthusiasm of your team, and of you as the leader of the team, will be positively influenced by having a positive image of each member of your team.

Names Influence Effort

Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson performed an experiment in 1966 known as The Pygmalion Effect, which tested the effect of teacher expectations on student performance.  Teachers across 1st through 6th grades were told that certain students were expected to perform at a very high level in the coming year.

Rosenthal and Jacobson then randomly assigned students to randomly selected teachers and gave the names of the students to the teachers.

At the end of the school year, this randomly selected group of students achieved markedly higher gains in IQ scores than the rest of the students.  Why?  Because the teachers expected these students to be successful and worked hard to make sure they were.

People will achieve up to the limit of their expectations.

James Rhem, the executive editor for the online National Teaching and Learning Forum, said:

“When teachers expect students to do well and show intellectual growth, they do; when teachers do not have such expectations, performance and growth are not so encouraged and may in fact be discouraged in a variety of ways.”

Leaders have to expect that each of their team members will succeed, then work hard to make sure that happens.

Names Should Fit The Role

Abraham, the patriarch of the Jewish Nation, was once known as “Abram” which means “Exalted Father.”  At that time he had one son, Ishmael, and he was near 100 years old.  God appeared to Abram and told him that his descendants would number more than the stars.  From that point forward he would be called “Abraham” which means “Father of Many Nations.”

Marion Morrison used the stage name John Wayne because he wanted to be a rugged movie star.

What’s In a Name

Theodor Seuss Geisel began signing the name Seuss to his work in his college’s humor magazine.  The correct pronunciation of Seuss is “Soyce” but it was mispronounced “Suss” which sounded like “Goose” as in the nursery rhymes.  That was fine to Theodor who intended to use his pen name for his humorous work anyway and save his real name for a future serious project.

The “Dr.” was added to his first published book in honor of his father who wanted Theodore to be a doctor.

From this day forward, every member of your team should be named “Successful,” in the specific role they have been assigned.  The definition of success may be different in each role.

Your job as the leader is to help define success for each person and assist them in accomplishing up to their new name – Successful.

From the inspirational diary of Anne Frank comes this truth:

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.  The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!”

What name have you given to your team, and to each member of your team?  Do you believe that they can be successful?  Have you limited the growth of your team by naming them “Unable to succeed?”  Your expectations of your team will drive their performance.

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———————–
Denis McLaughlin
Denis McLaughlin is President of Leadership GPS, Inc.
He is a Leadership Development Expert, Coach, Teacher, Speaker, and Writer
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Hey Leaders: Who Killed the Bluebird of Happiness?

Posted on June 24, 2012 by Andy Uskavitch

Blue Bird of Happiness

Have you ever wondered why the Bluebird of Happiness is blue?

… And is he really happy?  Not so sure… I’d say that being blue is a clue.

The happiness part is just a front.  It’s time the bird start taking a good hard look around his organization and see what’s really going on.

Leaving Your Boss

You have heard for a number of years now in various research settings and books that – “most employees don’t leave their jobs, they leave their managers.” 

They leave their managers, not their leaders.

Why do employees leave their managers? 

  • Because they make them “blue”
  • They make them unhappy
  • They make them not want to come into work
  • And not want to work for (with) you

Manager or Leader?

Just because people accomplish what you want them to, and they’re hitting goals, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a leader.  It may just mean you’re a good manager.

Last month on the day that Michael Hyatt’s new book came out, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World (which is excellent by the way,) someone posted a comment on Amazon about what a scam it was because he already had 74 great comments posted.

To put a long story short, when new books are getting ready to be published, a number of people, including “experts” are given pre-launch copies for review – hence the 74 comments.

Well you should have seen all of the people that commented back in Hyatt’s defense.  There’s a good definition of a leader.  Now think a moment . . . If you were “attacked” or “under the gun” from customers or superior’s, would you have in instant following standing up for you?

C’mon get Happy

So what do you managers need to do to become leaders – to get your staff to follow you?  Think of the ‘70’s TV show, “The Partridge Family” – c’mon get happy.

I know you’ve heard it a hundred times before (at least), but some people still just can’t grasp it . . . you are role models for your staff!  But you say (I’ve actually heard it), “I’m not here to be a role model, I’m here to get a job done”.  I say ‘bull hockey’!  You can get a lot more accomplished and in a much less harsh (brutal, severe) atmosphere by j-u-s-t  b-e-i-n-g  h-a-p-p-y.

Most people have always thought that if we work hard, we’ll be more successful, and if we’re more successful, then we’ll be happier.  Well that just may not be the case at all.

Happiness Fuels Success

That’s where Shawn Achor comes in.  In his book, The Happiness Advantage, he refers to “rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe” when he says that “happiness fuels success, not the other way around”.

Happiness is contagious, just as a bad attitude is.  Try it.  Walk into a room of your peers or staff with a big smile and just be basically courteous.  With few exceptions, very soon everyone will have a smile.

Just as your bad attitude affects the people you work with, so will a good attitude.  And as an added bonus, it could very well bring you more success.

For those of you who don’t think there’s anything to this notion of happiness then ask yourself why Shawn Achor’s TED Talk has had almost 2.5 million views.

http://ted.com/talks/view/id/1344

“Okay, so what if I’m happier at work?  What’s in it for me?”  I’m glad you asked.  Your trickle down happiness is going to directly affect your staff, which in turn will result in:

  • better quality of work
  • better customer service
  • conscious acts of kindness
  • teamwork
  • openness
  • innovation
  • cooperation
  • fewer sick days
  • higher motivation
  • achieving potential

Should I keep going?

Happiness & You

Abraham Lincoln once said this:

“People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

In other words, you direct the path of your own happiness.  And along the way you can share in that happiness with just being, well, happy.

I’m not talking Happy like one of the Seven Dwarfs – just have a good attitude – about your job, about your staff, about your peers, about your bosses, about your friends and family.

Like I have said many times in my training workshops – attitude breeds attitude.  So if you want your staff to have good attitudes, you’ve got to walk the talk.  You’ve got to have the “happiness advantage.”

What is your happiness level?  Are you projecting the right attitude onto your staff?  What would the workplace be like if your attitude was better?

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——————–
Andy Uskavitch is Leadership Development at Florida Blood Services
He develops and facilitates Leadership, Motivation & Teambuilding Seminars
Email | LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | Blog |  (727) 568-5433

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Leaders: How To Improve Your Customer Service

Posted on May 22, 2012 by Wayne Kehl

Customer Service

As I travel around North America for various business opportunities, I find myself encountering all sorts of customer service styles… Some good… And some very, very bad!

But something big is going on…

It seems that no matter how many consultants and business coaches and in-house customer service trainers teach employees how to provide good service we, the consuming public continues to fall victim to bad service in almost every sort of establishment that wants our money!

The Exception or The Rule?

In sake of fairness, I must say that I do come across establishments that offer extremely good service.

However, those seem to be the exception rather than the rule.

In order to encourage more good service, when I am fortunate enough to find it, I thank the provider and tell them how much I appreciate the fine service that they have provided me. Occasionally, I will even seek out the manager of the establishment to tell them what a great job their employee did for me and to ask them to keep up the good work.

A pat on the back goes a long way!

The main reason that people provide bad service comes down to a simple bad attitude. The person who doesn’t care enough to give good service generally has the attitude that what they are doing doesn’t matter.

They feel that:

  • The establishment does not matter
  • Their customer’s do not matter
  • The thing(s) they are selling does not matter
  • Or that nothing in life matters

Leaders Sharing the Blame

When poor service prevails at an establishment, it is not just the customer-facing employees or supervisors that are at fault.

It is also the owners and operators of establishments that give bad service are also to blame.

Unfortunately, they often seem oblivious to the bad service their employees offer or that they are losing hundreds (or even thousands) of dollars every week because customers hate dealing with them!

On Attitude and Altitude

Various surveys and studies over the past decade indicate that 60% to 70% of all lost business is a result of the attitude of customer service personnel or salespeople. The lost business accounts for hundreds of millions of dollars in lost business every year world-wide.

Despite these alarming losses, businesses continue to tolerate employees with bad attitudes and will often defend the attitude of their miserable or thoughtless employees as being “unusual” or even by simply denying it.

I think that business leaders all over the world would agree that they want their business to be considered a good place to do business.

With that in mind, here are some things you might consider doing to improve the “attitude” of your employees and recover some of those lost “bad-service dollars”:

When you observe a bad customer service attitude deal with it immediately

Wait until the customer is gone and then confront the employee, letting them know where they went wrong and how to improve. If the attitude or behaviour goes unchecked it will be hard to change later.

Put on seminars and workshops to explain to your employees what good customer service should look like  

Tell them and what you expect from them when they interact with customers and what is not acceptable. Give them a “customer service road map” to follow.

Some of the best establishments have actual, written customer service manuals

These can help even the most “block-headed” employees understand the difference between good and bad customer service and the value of it. Write it down so that they can read it and retain it in their minds.

Inspect what you expect

It is not good enough to simply tell your people to provide good service. Monitor your establishment’s customer service by getting out of your office and watching your employees as they interact with customers. Just your presence on the floor should improve service…If not, you might need to work on your leadership skills.

Ask random people you meet

Ask other business people, folks you meet at parties, or people you meet in the grocery store, if they have been to your establishment and if so, how they felt about the service. You might be surprised what you hear.

Send out customer service surveys

Send out surveys to as many customers as possible in order to get a fair sampling. Some people complain about everything when asked but if your get the same complaint over and over again, you can be quite certain that you have a problem.

Put a customer satisfaction application on your website

Allow customers to rate their satisfaction with your service and provide a box for comments. We live in an online world and many people are more likely to comment if they can do it online.

Tell your employees what you have learned

When you have done your monitoring, inspections and surveys, have meetings with all employees to let them know what you heard, what their customers are saying about them, and what you would like to see in the future.

Thank your superstar employees for providing great service

Let everyone in your establishment know who that stars are and what they do that is different. A good service attitude can become contagious when it is openly praised or rewarded.

Get tough on bad service providers

This area of business leadership is often ignored or avoided due to the simple fear of confrontation. As tough as it may be to be critical of another human being you have to accept that the establishment leader is ultimately responsible for the success or failure of the business. You must deal directly and sometimes harshly with the bad attitudes of your employees. Don’t become the victim of someone else’s attitude!

Don’t let your business earn a reputation for bad service. Get involved with your employees to assure that their interactions provide the best possible buying experience for your customers. Make service the number one priority of your business and assure your longevity and success well into the future!   

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Wayne Kehl is President and CCO at Dynamic Leadership Inc
He is author and behavioral analyst who lectures on leadership and motivation
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Leaders: True Transformation Has to Start at the Top

Posted on May 20, 2012 by Cheryl Dilley

Transformation

There is an undeniable trend of transformation going on in corporations around the globe. 

Economic crisis, bad politics, global climate changes, survival and disruptive technology are just a few reasons behind the trend. 

Reinventing Your Leaders

Many companies, large and small have to come up with creative ways to reinvent themselves.

This requires change:

Tops down, Bottoms up, Sideways change!

Many companies not only have a focus on their product, sales approach or services reinvention, but reinvention of their leaders.  demand for newer, softer approaches to leading such as Collaboration, Emotional Intelligence, and Change Leadership are prevalent.

The Softer Side of Success

Many authors, consultants, experts are reaping the benefit of the trend.

But at the heart of the change isn’t a consultant, a nifty new diagram or model, it’s the leader himself.

I have been leading cross-company transformation efforts for most of my career whether at the micro-level of a single project or service, or at the corporate level.

From my experience, introducing the softer elements of business can be the smartest thing to do to really reach the bottom line. You can easily get an executive sponsor to champion the effort if it pertains to a new way of thinking of a project or how they do business.

Where the transformation gets dicey is when it requires personal change from those at the top, not just in voice but in actions. 

The Transformation Script

So here is the rundown of how it goes…

  • An executive staff meeting will yield a consensus of nods that “yes, the company has to change.”
  • They will debate for hours on what has to change, who has to change and how they are going to go about the change.
  • The Leader is willing to put his staff through the new academy or intensive training program and easily pays for it, allows direct reports to take the time to go through a program and even does a corporate video to rally the troops.

Now comes the real test of what does that leader have to change in himself.  It goes beyond the head nod and staff development but becomes personal development.

They get in the trap of believing they are already role modeling the new way.

Well if they were living the new way, the rest of the organization would have already followed the leader to the new normal.

Starting at the Top

For a real transformation to happen, it has to steep itself in the new culture and it has to start at the top.  The leader can’t just identify the need for change.

To be effective, he has to:

  • Lead it
  • Champion it
  • Invest time in it personally
  • Embrace it
  • Sponsor it
  • Mentor others
  • Coach them
  • Guide them

He has to walk the talk and be able to show visible change within himself for others to follow.  He has to course correct as the environment changes or the company strays from purpose.  Where I’ve seen great programs falter is at that critical point when a leader says this:

“What do you mean I have to change?” 

Efforts that don’t have this important recipe of top leader adoption die on the vine while the next new shiny object sucks up more time, energy, money and resources waiting for the next big thing to guide them on the path of transformation.

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Cheryl Dilley is a Program Director at Intel Corporation
She is a transformation leader, coach, and program strategist
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On Leadership and Learning to Pace

Posted on April 10, 2012 by Cheryl Ragsdale

Martial Arts

Pacing: How I Realized I Was in Sprint Mode Most of the Time

Problems sometimes get solved in the most unusual ways. As I worked through a framework designed to help me look at one business problem in a new way, I had a “Eureka! moment” pertaining to solving an entirely different problem.

Life in the Fast Lane

What popped into my mind was a solution to a problem that I didn’t even realize I had. It surfaced while I was trying to solve something else entirely. It had to do with my preferred pace for engaging in problem-solving at a very quick pace.

I like it FAST!

It was in analyzing my preference for a fast pace that allowed me to see the benefits of a different, slower pace.

And what astonished me most was that I hadn’t even considered this before!

Cross Functional Analysis

Using Martial Arts Skills to Solve Business Problems

I train in martial arts and have done so for nearly four years. One day, I wondered whether I could solve a business problem using the technical skills I practice in mixed martial arts.

These technical skills are combative and forceful ways to defeat problems. And they work well for my fast-paced nature.

Striking

Striking came to represent dynamic, verbal attacks.

BJJ

Brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ or the ground-fighting game) represented actions or answers that involved a methodical approach to blocking or controlling someone or something.

Take Downs

Take downs (or body slams) are those things undertaken to abruptly stop something or someone. For instance, going on strike or a work slow-down is a severe take down undertaken when employment contract negotiations are at an impasse.

Counter Attack

Every move that an opponent can deliver in a match is generally met with a counter-move or counter-attack.

Analyzing The Problem

Where’s the rub?

Lining up my thoughts and ideas underneath the appropriate headings, I noticed some irritation and tension whenever I added something to the BJJ ground game list.

Reviewing the list, I didn’t notice anything particularly onerous. But then, I noticed that the list contained tasks that required research.

Eureka! Tasks that are slow, methodical, twisty or frequently interrupted were unconsciously causing me irritation.

I REALLY like fast paced activities. These please the striker in me. I’m tall with long limbs, good for punching and kicking and applying the quickness to my feet to get out of harm’s way. And anything else can often just seem like a boring chore.

Finding the Right Gear

Applying the same pace to a different task

What popped into my head was that when I’m working with a training partner (“rolling” as we call it in jiu jitsu practice,) I’m applying the wrong pace.

The ground game is different from my “stand-up” or boxing and kicking game.

Of course! Why didn’t I notice it before? I often say to my training partner Dana that she is moving at a jiu jitsu pace (relaxed, methodical) when she should be moving at the pace of a striker (darting in and out).

It never occurred to me to reverse that advice to apply it to me because I move at the wrong pace when I’m on the ground.

I move too fast and I miss opportunities to set up my attacks effectively.

Mindset for Solutions

Urgent vs Relaxed

This made me think of strengths and weaknesses. Sorting my work activities into distinct martial arts skill sets allowed me to see that I was missing my opportunities on the ground because I wasn’t taking advantage of the extra seconds available to make a good decision before I adjusted my position.

The ground game is designed to allow time to think and choose from a list of alternative reactions. Strikers practice split-second reactions or else risk having their heads, unnecessarily, in the line of fire. Two completely different speeds.

I looked back at my list of methodical activities and felt myself relax.

By allowing myself the time and the pleasure to work through the tasks at an appropriate pace, the tension and irritation lifted. Next step is to apply that same thinking when I’m waiting for someone else to complete methodical tasks requiring their time and attention.

Learning to Pace

In Praise of Slowness

“My wake-up call came when I found myself toying with the idea of buying a collection of One-Minute Bedtime Stories, Snow White in 60 seconds. Suddenly it hit me: my rushaholism has got so out of hand that I’m even willing to speed up those precious moments with my children at the end of the day. That’s why I began investigating the possibility of slowing down.” ~ Carl Honore, “In Praise of Slowness“

Slow down, you move too fast

“Infectious multitasking is on the increase. If you’re attempting to eat breakfast and floss at the same time, you could be in trouble…Studies have shown that rushing is a direct cause of rudeness, blunder, and mishap.”

Sound familiar? Slow Down Now

Questions for your consideration:

  • How do you think about adjusting your pace as you move from activity to activity?
  • Do you rush other people to meet your need for speed?
  • When do you know and what do you do to match another person’s pace (slow down or speed up)?
  • Do you think people should adjust to your pace? When and why?
  • Where are you applying the wrong pace in your life?

**********

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———————–
Cheryl Ragsdale is Coach at “So, You Lost the First Round”
She helps with Operations Management, Team Building, Coaching & Training
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Web | Workbook | Yahoo Sports

Image Sources: martialartsfemale.com

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