On Leadership and The Lifecycle of Mentoring

Posted on June 12, 2013 by Madan Mewari

Mentoring

Mentoring is an enormously effective and an irreplaceable way to grow people, teams, and organizational health.  If done poorly, it can be a waste of time. But if done properly, it can be one of your organization’s most effective and least expensive training tools.

The key to an effective mentoring undertaking is to understand the lifecycle of mentoring.

Mentoring: The Big Picture

The lifecycle of a mentor/mentee relationship is this: Reaching a state when both the parties are ‘mentors’ in a mutually beneficial mentorship bond.

men·tor·ing  [ méntəring ]  

According to Wikipedia:

“Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development; mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience (the mentor) and a person who is perceived to have less (the protégé)”.

I am a big believer of the well-known quote from Benjamin Franklin:

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”

In my opinion, mentorship is among the best ways to groom the talent where mentor identifies the strengths of the mentee and provides guidance, support & motivation and also works as a critic appropriately.

Personal Experience

I have been part of some very successful mentor-mentee relationships where I have played the role of mentor in some cases and of mentee in some other cases. These experiences have helped me to learn a lot about mentor-mentee relationship and to become a better professional.

From two of the very successful mentor-mentee relationships, one is going on for over six years and other for over four years; I have observed a sequence in interactions and activities that looks like the lifecycle of a successful mentor-mentee relationship.

Lifecycle of Mentoring Relationship

Awareness

This stage is generally led by the mentor and lot many questions are asked for assessing the professional background of mentee, skills, aspirations, any known strengths and improvement areas related to professional experience area or related to human behavior.

Mentor shares his/her experience and expertise summary, also talks about couple of success stories where ‘someone’ similar to the mentee was primary contributor.

This continues for couple of more sessions. Focus is on ‘knowing each other.’

Sharing

Mentor shares more information (e.g. URLs, documents, books), connects the mentee with relevant people. Mentor also uncovers unknown (i.e. not stated by the mentee) strengths and improvement areas and shares with mentee.

Guidance is limited to specific areas mentee wants to know about. Focus is on ‘knowledge’ or ‘building the knowledge of the mentee.’

 Planning

At this stage, mentor also discovers the interest areas of the mentee. Mentee seeks guidance from mentor for aligning interest areas, strengths and professional career. Long term goals get discussed and planned. Scope of discussion is much larger that the limited scope of assignment mentee is working on.

One of the examples I am quoting, where my mentee was working in a role without direct customer interaction.

  • She was doing quite well in her role, but was interested in playing a role requiring direct customer interaction and she had the capability.
  • I recommended her to move to a new role that was in ‘consulting’ area and required the candidate to work directly with customers but also required her to learn some ‘niche’ skills.
  • I shared some documents with her to understand what is needed in ‘consulting’ role and provided some guidance on how to switch into the new role.
  • She took up the role as a challenge and was very successful.

 Interaction

Mentee takes over the communication and starts asking questions related to completeness, quality and effectiveness of the plan made during last stage. Planning moves from tactical to strategic points.

Both of them learn number of new things by researching and continuous interactions. Scope of discussion is beyond defined subjects. Mentor is confident in involving the mentee to strategic and larger goals of the organization and aspirations of mentee and self.

I want to share one of the experiences where I had involved my mentee in working on a business plan for a strategic unit.

  • I spent a couple of hours over 2-3 days to guide her and explain what is needed, what are sources for inputs, process etc.
  • I was surprised to see the first output after a week. It was of great quality.
  • Output got better and better over next few weeks and finally became the essential part of the business plan.

This was her first experience of working on a business plan and she did an outstanding job. Sometime later I asked her the question – what made her come up with such a wonderful plan?

She told me that she got a new perspective while understanding the alignment of our business plan with the strategy of the organization. She was highly motivated to do a great job.

She contributed to my business plan for next 3 years and every time she surprised me with the output.

Role-Reversal

Time comes when mentor learns more from mentee. Mentor learns from how mentee is performing the activities because mentee is primarily executing the plan and faces new situations and challenges every day.

Mentee shares experiences and mentor questions both for self-learning as well as to guide the mentee further.

Mentee is prepared to play the role of mentor for others as well as for the mentor. Mentor starts recommending mentee as mentor for other people.

Engaging

This is the stage when mentor and mentee graduate to a level where they start discussing and discovering lot of new areas that result into innovation. They come up with new ideas and theories and experiment. There is a lot of learning for both the parties at this stage.

Engaging is a continuous process. Focus is on ‘innovation.’

Modeling Mentorship

This lifecycle is not like a waterfall, but mentor and mentee keep on jumping into different stages based on the context and the expected outcome.

I like to call this model as ‘ASPIRE’ that stands for Awareness, Sharing, Planning, Interaction, Role-reversal & Engaging.

 Aspire means directing one’s hopes or ambitions toward achieving something difficult and higher. Since mentoring requires mentor to help mentee be successful in achieving challenging goals, ‘ASPIRE’ as the name of model fits quite well here.

I am keen to explore this model further with the help of inputs coming from other leaders. Have you experienced similar or different lifecycle in other successful mentor-mentee relationships?  Please do share your thoughts and experiences.

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Madan Mewari
———————
Madan Mewari is the Global Head for Delivery and Operations of eDynamic LLC
He has a wealth of experience in Building Large & High Performance Teams
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It’s Lonely at the Top – 4 Ways to Help Employees Make the Step Change to Leader

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Sandy Cooper

Becoming a Leader

In a recent National Post article Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, where shown riding the subway with the caption “Prince Charles shows he’s just a regular bloke.”

Although the article didn’t convince me that the Prince is a regular bloke (I don’t think that regular blokes only take the subway once every 25 years!), it did (in a very strange way) highlight an issue when employees are promoted to leadership positions: they are no longer seen by their former co-workers as “regular blokes.”

The new leader must form new bonds and this, coupled with the pressure of trying to succeed in a new position, can be difficult for the newly promoted leader.

4 Ways to Help Employees Make the Step Change to Leader

Here are four ways that company’s can help to ensure their employees don’t feel lonely at the top.

1. Make Relationship-Building a Part of Leadership Development

Building relationships with co-workers is important. Of equal or maybe greater significance to a leader is their ability to form new relationships with those who report to them. The dynamics of this relationship can be difficult to grasp and therefore should be a part of the professional development of all future leaders.

2. Teach People Skills

It is common practice to select potential leaders within an organization partly based on character traits that would be beneficial to the company. Having a natural ability to relate with others should be one of these traits.

It is great to have a leader that has the technical knowledge to answer specific questions from their team however, the further up the ladder they progress, the less valuable these technical skills become. Great leaders surround themselves with people smarter then they are and find a way to get them to produce – these are people skills, not technical skills.

“Many corporate and governmental organizations assessments of leaders are exclusively focused on how well they handle the files in the inbox. But there is almost no assessment of their leadership skills.” ~ General Rick Hillier

3. Coach, Coach, Coach

Picking the right candidate for the job and providing all the formal training you can find will do little for how your top performer feels the first time they have to give their former lunch room buddy a poor mid-year review unless they receive continuous coaching.

Set your new leader up with someone in a different department that is one or two levels above their position on the org. chart. Of course the coach will need coaching on how to be a coach, but that is a part of the continuous professional development model you have implemented.

4. Team Build

Making friends isn’t easy. Making them with a new group of co-workers is even harder. Not only will frequent opportunities for team development help your newly promoted leader feel like they are part of the group, it will also help those that have been in management positions for a while get to know the new kid on the block.

If there is any resentment held by the more experienced leaders in your company towards the young up and comer, team building can be structured in such a way as to break down the walls of communication and help close the generational gap.

 “Under many existing development models, leaders learn to think about jobs in terms of what they control. This notion has led to excluding others and a lack of teamwork.” ~ Ram Charan

Keeping Real

No one is expecting that when an employee is promoted that they will have to completely drop all friendships they developed in their previous role. Nor are they expected to invite the management team over to watch football on Sunday afternoon (or hockey on Saturday night) with this said, their relationships will change: their new title dictates so.

To help ensure success for the employee and the company, it is important that relationship skills are recognized as a vital skill in their professional development and included in leadership development programs.

Have you experienced the feeling of isolation after being promoted? How much of a divide do you think is healthy between management and a company’s workforce? Do you think social media can help maintain a healthy balance between management and worker or will the line be too blurred? What kind of leadership training does your company offer? I would love to hear your thoughts!

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Sandy Cooper

Sandy Cooper is a HSEQ Advisor in the offshore oil and gas industry
He works within a management system to help develop worker leadership skills
Email | LinkedIn | Twitter |  Web 

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7 Ways Leaders Can Hack Into Their Own Life: Tips From A Former FBI Counterintelligence Agent

Posted on April 22, 2013 by LaRae Quy

Hacking Your Mind

As an FBI undercover and counterintelligence agent, I spent twenty-four years investigating people. But the most important life I ever investigated was my own.

When I sleuthed out my own story, I could begin to pinpoint patterns in the way my mental toughness was developed over the years—the times I’d persevered in business and life, and won.

Just as importantly, the times I’d given up and sold myself short.

Hacking Into Your Own Story

You can do the same by hacking into your own story so you can apply the same knowledge to understanding your behaviors, traits, and strengths. You learn which ones move you forward in business and life, and also identify the ones that hold you back.

In my book, Secrets of A Strong Mind, I discuss many ways to hack into your own life.

Here are 7 ways:

1. Take Ownership. FBI new agents spend a great deal of time defining their strengths, talents, and skills so they can quickly lean into them when confronted with risk, uncertainty, and discomfort. The secret to strong living in both business and life is being able to repeat instances of success again and again.

Hack tip: Train yourself to recognize your strengths by recalling a time when you reacted to adversity in a way that moved you forward in the direction you wanted to go. Chances are good that you responded from a place of strength, so take ownership of it by acknowledging it.

2. Strut Your Stuff. It is not uncommon for FBI agents to move assignments several times in their career. Over time, they will settle in one area of expertise that has been defined, in large part, by their strengths, talents, and skills.

Hack tip: Keep your strengths easily accessible by constantly working to develop them so you can call them into action when you need them. When you use your strengths, you’re in the zone where the right decisions come to you. You feel challenged in the way you like to be challenged.

3. Admit you’re not perfect. Survival in hostile and volatile environments often requires an honest assessment of talents and skills. A small but agile FBI agent may be a good choice for a SWAT assignment; a brawny but empathic agent might be used in sensitive interviews. The most competent agents are those who have identified their weaknesses so they can navigate their career in ways that allow them to minimize exposure to areas where they lack proficiency.

Hack tip: Do not worry about what was left out; instead, develop what was left in.  It is the mark of a strong and wise mind to respect your weaknesses so you can anticipate your response and minimize their impact. Read Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham.

4. Keep moving. FBI agents are placed in a variety of fast-moving situations. There is no time to let a self-limiting barrier keep them from confronting an adversary or pushing ahead in an interrogation. Constant training throughout their career allows agents to continually move though barriers, because the closer they get to them the more they can educate ourselves about them.

Hack tip: Break your barriers by continually pushing beyond the the limits you have set for yourself. You do not need total clarity to move forward. Many times, the steps to follow and actions to take will not reveal themselves to you until you have moved closer to the very thing that creates fear inside you.

5. Get emotional. FBI agents know that emotions like fear and anger are OK. It’s complacency that will kill them. A little emotion keeps them on their toes. Agents understand that an emotion like fear is their early warning system in fast-moving situations. Their awareness of the fear doesn’t mean they back away from the unknown because they don’t know what they’ll find; instead, they move forward with caution and strategy.

Hack tip: Acknowledge your emotions for what they are rather than let them lead you towards poor judgments and irrational behavior. Learn how your brain recruits your body to express emotion. Understand what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it. Emotions are often a pacifying system to deal with stress, and as such, can be excellent indicators of a change in our environment.

6. Put yourself under surveillance. FBI agents routinely place the target of their investigation under surveillance to uncover patterns in their behavior. It is an essential first step in an FBI investigation. A surveillance log is kept, and once a target’s normal routine is established, it’s much easier to recognize aberrant behavior.

Hack tip: Keep a log of everyday activities so you can pinpoint situations that influence your attitude or behavior. Rather than reviewing your daily activities as a linear recitation of facts and figures, scan them so you can identify highlights: specific experiences that produced a reaction or moved you in some way. Once those experiences have been identified, you can drill down further to see whether you responded the same way on other days or in different circumstances.

7. Scare yourself. Much of the training at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia involves moving new agents out of their comfort zone. If instructors aren’t challenging new agents physically, intellectually, and emotionally, they aren’t doing their job. It’s not a bad thing to be alert and uncomfortable. Training does not encourage agents to become paranoid, but a little discomfort keeps a person from becoming too comfortable with past or current success.

Hack tip: To gain a better awareness of your behavior in situations of risk, uncertainty, and discomfort, go out of your way to place yourself in uncomfortable situations. Expose yourself to activities that you might ordinary avoid because you’re worried about the downside. Your awareness of your reaction to risk, uncertainty, and discomfort is more acute and focused when you purposely place yourself in these situations. Use them as a learning tool so you can anticipate your responses when confronted with the real thing.

What tips would you add on how to hack into your life?

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LaRae Quy
LaRae Quy is former FBI Agent and Founder at Empowering the Leader in You
She helps clients explore the unknown and discover the hidden truth in self & others
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Secrets of Succession Planning: Don’t Hide Your Talent

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Katrin Kaehler

Hiding Talent

If you are in an organization, it is wise to understand that the people you have on board are the reason you are getting the results you are getting. 

Sometimes this is a good thing, and other times, well, it’s not so good.

Planning Ahead

But whether you like the results you are getting from your people, or not, it is also wise to understand that employment at your place is optional for almost everyone there. People can mostly come and go as they please.

Consequently, being prepare for open positions makes sense to think about and is something for which you should plan.

Do’s and Dont’s of Succession Planning

So why should your organization do succession planning? Let’s start with the basics. The classical reasons would be the impending retirement of baby boom generation employees or to have a backup plan for emergencies like accidents or serious illness of some of your key players.

But there’s more to it than this simple outlook.

For instance, look at the vacancies in your organization and think about these questions:

  • How many do you fill with internal candidates?
  • How often do you need to recruit outside talent?
  • Hiring externally is costly and it takes time for the new employee to get up and running.
  • And oh, what about your current employees?

Without sufficient possibilities for growth and development within the company, they are more likely to leave.

Beating Around the Bush

I’ve steered and implemented succession planning in several companies and I’ve experienced that this topic is very often loaded with emotions. It’s not uncommon that managers fear to lose their talent to other business units. As a consequence, they try to hide their best people and nominate their second -or third- best instead.

HR and business unit leaders are afraid that the potential successors will be frustrated if the succession possibility they’re being groomed for won’t happen in the end. To avoid that from happening, they introduce non-transparent succession planning processes.

In final outcome, you end up with a process that is just very awkward for everyone

Leading in a Quagmire

Given the restrictions of said process, as a manager, you can’t really talk to your talent, but you’re supposed to groom it for a future assignment that she cannot know of.

Peers don’t officially know that this person is a talent, but I assure you this: they’ll find out in time.

Your “talent” likes the extra development and attention, but will surely ask you where this journey is going. And then there are people like me, the “people developer,” having to implement a sub-optimal process for political reasons. But these are not just my personal experiences.

In a 2012 study, AMA Enterprises, a division of the American Management Association, found that  succession planning is one of the least transparent processes in HR.

But Transparency Works!

Studies showed that the most mature talent and succession management approaches are not only transparent, but also interactive, i.e. an employee can nominate herself to be considered for a high-potential development program. I’ve tried to accomplish two things when introducing succession planning:

1. Promote a change of thought in managers from hiding talent to a company-wide giving and receiving.

2. Work towards a culture of ongoing and open feedback in which managers and employees talk about their strengths, development needs and possible future assignments.

Leading People is About Them

In an environment like this, employees understand that transitioning into a succession role is only one of several possibilities for their future development in the company.

Knowing that an employer wants to invest in you is such a big motivator!

Employees who are not currently nominated as successors will have a clear understanding of which aspects they’ll need to work on in order to get to the next level.

In essence, I believe that companies with an open feedback culture should choose a transparent approach to succession planning. If you don’t have that culture, choose an approach that works for your company and consider working towards an environment that supports a more transparent approach.

Linking Strategy, Succession and Development

You don’t do succession planning just for the sake of it, so make sure to get the most out if it.

Take these steps to link your strategy, succession goals, and the personal development of your people:

  • Look at your business strategy and develop a clear understanding where your company wants to be in, say, three years.
  • Then deduct which skills your employees need to build today to be able to perform tomorrow’s tasks.
  • Ask yourself which jobs are likely to be created, which business units likely to expand?
  • Then ask which skills do your employees need to build today to be able to perform tomorrow’s tasks?
  • After you nominated the successors, make sure to have individual development plans in place to start preparing them for their possible next career step.

This exercise will help you a great deal in making your succession planning relevant and useful for your organization. William J. Rothwell states in his article on the “Future of Succession Planning” how important it is to “integrate top-down succession planning with bottom-up career development.”

And I wholeheartedly agree with this! So don’t hide your talent! Grow them!

In summary: don’t fear to be transparent, create an open feedback culture and link strategy to career development.

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Katrin Kaehler
Katrin Kaehler steers Organizational Learning and Development
Before moving to the US, she worked in International Roles in Europe
Email | LinkedIn |  Web

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Leadership Formula: Learn, Connect, Influence

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Michael R Stanford

Time to Learn

Over the past four years I have analyzed people and processes to develop a better leadership model. This leadership training formula can be used personally and/or professionally and is known as the LCI model.

LCI is a fairly basic model that stands for:

  • Learn
  • Connect
  • Influence

These three pieces put together form a strong foundation for leadership.

Learn:

Education and life learning are the foundation for personal growth. The lessons we learn and retain are what make us grow up as opposed to just growing old.

Classroom learning is important to enhance the mind so that we can better develop and learn about new possibilities and progressive growth toward the future.

The classroom can be:

  • Staged in a school. whether it be physical or digital
  • In the workplace or at home
  • It can be anywhere one develops knowledge in an interactive setting toward understanding and growth

Learning from others experience is a part of human growth that sometimes goes unrecognized. I have learned more from listening and collaborating with others, to integrate methods with past, present and future ideas toward innovation masterpieces.

Risk and failure are a part of learning and growth, when life happens people are forced to learn lessons. The idea that generation integration in the workplace has become an issue due to an increased gap in differences blows my mind; integration takes and open mind and willingness to change in order to learn and grow.

Leading by understanding the strength of learning concepts will lead to endless possibilities.

Connect:

Relationships are important to grow a network that expands to include many by touching only a few. The concept of “it’s not what you know, but who you know” is a myth.

Who you know will help advance a person, but you need knowledge and self- promotion in order to advance.

An example would be that someone you know can get you an interview, but you have to sell yourself in order to land the position.

Networking takes time energy and self-promotion, but will help one spread their individual message. As a leader I look to educate and influence as many people as I possibly can to ensure continued growth; this takes hard work, dedication, and communication.

Communication is commonly seen and understood as passing a message. What we miss in this understanding is that communication is more of a listening skill than a speaking skill. When connecting with others I have found that if I listen more I can understand them better and convey an unspoken message, the message that I care.

I used to sit through management meetings about communication and nothing ever got better because everyone had a solution, but no one listened to each other in order to make progress. When I spent time with my groups outside the meetings, I would listen 95% of the time and speak 5% which produced a bond with my team.

When people want more communication, what they are asking for is someone to listen and guide while providing information that is important and relevant to them.

Leaders need a following which takes strong networking and communication skills.

A strong leader has the ability to influence others with only having to speak to and interact with a few people.

Influence:

In order to influence people a leader must understand how to educate, embrace, and empower others.  Leadership takes continuous learning as well as educating; sharing information is important in order to develop others while creating a collaborative atmosphere to create new information.

When educating people one must be open to the ideas of others and innovative information, collaboration expands minds while creating a learning environment for the leader and expanding the network which they influence.

Leaders should empower others to be creative and become great. This act of empowerment will develop an atmosphere of innovation which requires a selfless attitude and an open mind.

When a strong foundation is built, the foundation will last no matter what changes occur above. The combination or learn, connect, influence allows for leaders to grow personally and professionally one the same foundational concepts.

Leaders of the future need inspiration from the leaders today.  How can we better integrate generations when the majority of leadership images that surfaces on the new age platforms positioned in a negative light? Do you think that the public school system would benefit from more collaborative style learning? Why?

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Michael R Stanford is Doctoral Learner at UOP
He does occasional motivational speaking for community colleges
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On Leaders and Accountability (Part 4): How Mentoring and Coaching Builds Trust

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Lee Ellis

Trust

In part 3 on accountability, we talked about the importance of clarity. This is about making sure that people are clear about expectations and gaining alignment in everything.

This includes their mission, vision, values, standards, your peculiar worldview, and the specific goals to be accomplished.

Mentoring and Coaching

In surveying more than 300 leaders from Fortune 500 companies, I learned that two of the attributes they valued most from their leaders were this:

  • “They supported me.”
  • “They helped me develop.”

Thus, some of the most important aspects of leading people toward success–the ultimate goal of accountability–are mentoring and coaching.

Mentor by Example

It’s more important than you can imagine to lead by setting a good example of the behaviors you want to see in others. Leaders actions speak much louder than their words, and those that demonstrate the following characteristics set the standard without having to say a word –

  • Respect
  • Collaboration
  • Teamwork
  • Commitment to Precise Execution

Likewise, you have noticed that the habits of bad leaders (and bad parents) are often replicated by those who come behind them.

As is often the case with children, the rule of “monkey see, monkey do” plays out in the workplace. It’s hard to be good role model, and it’s one of the greatest challenges of leadership.

Being Rude and Bullying

Recently while sitting in with a group of senior HR managers in a Fortune 500 company, I listened to a discussion about a particular manager in the company whose behaviors were routinely rude and bullying.

Surprisingly, the senior VP spoke up and shared the shocking comment, “I used to behave like that routinely.”

Heads snapped around with looks of disbelief and even some comments like, “No way.”

But the courageous VP came back, “Oh yes I did. That’s how my first boss operated, and so I thought that’s the way leaders behaved.  Eventually, another boss saw what I was doing, got my attention, and then mentored me on the power of respecting others. I learned that I could be kind and firm to get much better results.”

Your example as a leader sets the context and boundaries for accountability. You’re modeling what you want to see in others, and you’ll reap what you sow. Click to Tweet

Coach from Your Experience

Typically, leaders have accrued knowledge and honed skills that need to be passed along. It’s the most effective way to increase productivity and build confidence in others. It takes time and patience, but this kind of support of a leader is powerful. The best athletes in the world have coaches, so it makes sense that coaching in the workplace is also crucial to high productivity.

“The best athletes in the world have coaches, so it makes sense that coaching in the workplace is also crucial to high productivity.”

Many years ago as a young Air Force officer, I was assigned to a major command headquarters in my first staff job. To put it mildly, this flyboy was inexperienced and still ignorant about staff work. It was a workplace highly populated with colonels and generals, so the margin for error was slim.

Unfortunately, my immediate boss seemed quite disengaged from work of any kind.

He was either clueless or scared of messing up, because he seemed to always be hiding and not helping at all. Fortunately, a seasoned veteran took the time to coach me as I faced new challenges.

The skills he taught me about staff coordination and collaboration kept me ahead of the curve and really laid the foundation for much of the work I’ve done in my career ever since.

Learning By Trial and Error

Sure, we need to learn some things by trial and error, but in a demanding, fast paced workplace, accelerated learning means success for both the individual and the organization.

I could have learned by trial and error, and I did some of that; but mostly I was mentored and coached by a very busy person who cared enough to spend a few minutes here and there to show me the ropes in my first staff rodeo.

Now you may be thinking, “I thought this blog series was about accountability, but it seems like you’ve turned it into a focus on development.

Let me share a couple of thoughts on this:

  • Always remember that every person is unique.  Some people will need more of your time and support and some will need less.  Figuring that out is part of your job.
  • You should always be developing and positioning your people toward success. Sometimes that means supporting them with mentoring and coaching and sometimes it may mean standing back and watching them explore on their own. It’s easy to stand back; it takes more commitment and initiative to get involved and own your part of this accountability equation.

Accountability as a Journey

Look at the entire process of accountability as a journey–we’re moving down a path that gives the best results for you–the leader, your followers, and the organization.

For the next article in this series, we’ll dig in on the good, the bad and the ugly of accountability.  And most of the time it gets ugly, because we as leaders have all stumbled somewhere in the journey before it gets to a bitter end. Let’s get it right the first time.

Consider your mentoring in light of the example you set. Are you modeling the behaviors you expect in others?  Do you walk the talk of your values? Regarding coaching, do you focus on the assignments and capabilities of each person uniquely? How are you bringing them along to be as skilled as or even more so than you?

*Past Articles in the Series:

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Lee Ellis

Lee Ellis is Founder & President of Leadership Freedom LLC & FreedomStar Media.
He is a leadership consultant and expert in teambuilding, executive development & assessments
Email | LinkedIn | Web | Blog | Book | Facebook | Twitter

His latest book is called Leading with Honor: Leadership Lessons from the Hanoi Hilton.

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Leaders: 6 Steps to Use a Positive Attitude to Strengthen Your Resilience

Posted on April 3, 2013 by LaRae Quy

Heart Surgeons

A couple of months ago a good friend suffered a major heart attack. While in the emergency room, he had a second heart attack and almost died on the operating table.

The heart surgeon told my friend that he should recuperate in a short period and lead a normal life. In the following weeks, however, my friend did not improve.

He was weak, tired, depressed, and continued to experience debilitating chest pains.

The Heart of a Leader

Concerned, the doctor inserted a camera through an artery and into the heart to get a better idea of how the heart was functioning. With each pump, a good supply of blood was reaching all parts of the heart. The doctor explained that while there was severe damage to the heart, like any muscle, it would heal since the entire heart was receiving blood.

Armed with that knowledge, my friend went home and almost immediately began to feel better.

When he felt sharp pains in the heart as he walked or moved, he was not concerned since he knew that vital supplies of blood were reaching all parts of the heart, and not leaving other parts to atrophy. This knowledge gave him confidence to continue walking through the pain he felt because he knew his heart was healing.

My friend is not the only one who has used positive thinking to strengthen his resilience.

In my book, Secrets of A Strong Mind, I talk about how success as an FBI Agent often meant focusing on the things that I could control: my own beliefs, attitudes, emotions—and ultimately, behavior. I found several similarities between the way my friend and I both used positive thinking to become more resilient when confronted with the unexpected obstacles that show up in life and work:

1. Fill Knowledge Gaps

My friend gathered information that was meaningful to him in his particular situation. Once he assessed this information, he could move forward because he knew his heart was getting the blood it needed to eventually heal.

Similarly, as an FBI agent it was important to continue to collect evidence when faced with an obstacle.

Filling knowledge gaps by sorting facts from speculation was an important strategy so the next steps could be intentional, specific, and measurable.

2. Encourage Curiosity 

My friend and his family became experts in heart attacks. This curiosity increased their awareness of other knowledge gaps that existed.

Curiosity is one of the most important character traits an FBI agent can possess. When dealt an unexpected blow, it’s important to remain curious about the situation. Curiosity is a way to keep uncovering opportunities and further learning experiences.

3. Focus On the Presence of Positive Outcomes 

As part of his recovery, my friend started cardio rehabilitation. Even though he had major heart damage, every day he was able to see and understand that, as heart attacks go, there were many positive aspects to his situation.

When confronted with an obstacle, successful FBI agents do not waste time and energy searching for ways to reduce the impact of a bad outcome.

Instead, they look the situation square in the face and find ways of uncovering good outcomes in the wake of bad circumstances. It’s a simple shift in emphasis, but an important one and it is at the heart of positive thinking.

The difference is focusing on the good outcomes that come from bad experiences.

4. Renew Spiritually 

Since my friend was having a second heart attack while on the operating table, he was not given anesthesia because the surgeons wanted to make sure his brain was getting enough blood. As a result, he heard everything that was said and knew he came close to dying twice.

But he felt no panic; he was overcome with an incredible sense of peace and calm. It renewed his interest in spirituality. [Need Help in this area? See HelpOnTheWay]

When I retired from the FBI a few years ago, I decided to pursue graduate studies at San Francisco Theological Seminary. People thought it strange that I would move from FBI investigations to theological studies. To me, it was perfectly logical: FBI investigations uncover levels of truth, just as our spirituality does.

One of the best ways to foster a positive attitude is to acknowledge there is something bigger, better, and bolder than us. Click to Tweet

5. Recruit Social Support 

Heart attack victims often suffer from depression and my friend was aware of this. Instead of relying on medication, he focused on ways he could reach out to friends and family members for support.

To grow as an individual, we must be able to connect with others.The people we gather around us in times of crisis or obstacles should be ones that help us develop a positive attitude toward ourselves and our situation.

If we want to grow consciously, we must deliberately decide which connections will strengthen us and which ones will weaken us.

6. Practice Gratitude 

Needless to say, my friend was extremely grateful for the support and prayers that created positive thinking during this ordeal. But gratitude isn’t just about giving thanks or counting your blessings. It is noticing and appreciating the positive in the world. Even when the world is imperfect.

As law enforcement, I saw people in a variety of circumstances and came to appreciate that gratitude does not require a life full of material comforts.

Instead, it is an interior attitude of thankfulness regardless of one’s circumstances.

Leaders need to cultivate a positive attitude so they can maintain their resiliency. This will enable them to speedily recover from problems and maintain elasticity so they bend, stretch, and not break during challenging situations.

How do you maintain a positive attitude? How has a positive attitude helped you strengthen your resilience? I would love to hear your thoughts!

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LaRae Quy
LaRae Quy is former FBI Agent and Founder at Empowering the Leader in You
She helps clients explore the unknown and discover the hidden truth in self & others
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Image Sources: news.bbcimg.co.uk

Filed under: Leadership Lessons Learned, Professional Development | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

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